What No One Tells You About the Summer After College

I see him and his girl walking my way. I ignore them, but his girl somehow knows me and says “Hey Shahz”. I guess her name, she says it’s correct. “Prince Player” pulls me aside and says, “Hey. I’m not having a good time with her. I’m going to let her go and come over in a few minutes okay?” Although I know that’s a total player move, I smile and accept his offer. We have one of our best night’s yet.

My phone rings. I rub my eyes. It’s Mr. Photography dude.

“You’re not going to believe this dream I had” I say immediately.

He laughs. “Something tells me I will”.

I tell him. “What a bunch of bullshit! That would never happen Shaz!” I could hear him laughing so loud.

I gasp shocked I even had such a dream. “I know. He’s not that evil” I say.

He laughs. “You won’t believe the dream I had” he says. “I had a dream, you married this aspiring astronaut from MIT, and I got to be your guys’s best man!”

I choke on my toothpaste. “Yea. That will never happen either” I say.

“I thought dreams come true” he says.

I sigh. “They do. If they are meant to be. My mom told me the other day, she’s sending me to Boston to find a nice smart Arab boy. Do you believe this?”

Now he is really laughing. “Yes”.

“She said she expected me to find one at (our undergrad university). Do you believe that? She said with the “huge Arab population” she’s shocked I didn’t!” I say.

He laughs. “Well you did find one…it just didn’t work out in the end…”

Oh yea. I sigh.

He sighs back. “So how’s everything going?” he asks. Mr. Photography dude was supposed to go back to Egypt after graduation, but a lot of things happened, and he got a full time job- so he decided to stay. Like all my other friends. They’re all in Chicago without me. I’m so jealous.

“Not good. I can’t find a place to live in Boston. “Heart” got this funding to go to Africa and is there right now. All our friends have a full time job and I’m preparing for more school. I’m so bored all the time here. I-”

“Okay, okay so there’s a lot” he says. “Don’t. get. anxious. Shahz” he says slowly.

I take a deep breathe. “I won’t”.

Out of all the things college prepares you for, there’s one thing it doesn’t prepare you for- what the hell to do if you don’t have a full time job. And you see all these changes around you. Even if it’s just for the summer, waiting for your next few years of schooling to begin in a new city. They never tell you what to do during that time. Here’s my observations.

You’ll be jealous. Of your friends that are still in the city of your school. Of your friends that got full-time jobs with a $60,000 starting salary. Breathe. It happens.

You will have lots of dreams of everyone you miss (and don’t miss) at college. *Cue the first paragraph*. Be it about your friends, lovers,they will appear in your dreams. Oh and, you will make an appearance in their dreams as well.

You’ll reflect on your mistakes. And you will understand that despite them, you survived (and learned from it???)

Your friendship circle will change (slightly). I’m sorry to have to break this to you. Of course, the best of the best of your friends and you will still stay tight. But the friends from Stats class? The friends from your dorm? Mmmm not so sure :0

You’ll pick up new hobbies. My new hobby is taking jogs at 8 in the morning and kayaking around the lake in the evening. Wait what? When did I ever do that before?

BUT…

Who said it will be bad?

You’ll move somewhere new. Moves are exciting. You get to buy so many new things and start over! What’s more exciting than a clean slate?

You’re dreams will serve as a gentle reminder of the people that love you.

Yes you made mistakes, but everyone makes mistakes. You will learn to forgive yourself.

Yes your friendship circles will change…But BFFs will stay by you no matter what. And,FullSizeRender(29) you will make lots of new friends!

You’ll pick up new hobbies. There’s nothing wrong with this.

What did no one tell you about those first few months after college? Comment below! Also, recently, I was invited to guest blog over at Aaron’s The Confusing Middle about my future plans! Please check it out if you want to know more: More School… But Why??

That reminds me. My new hobby is finding talented bloggers to appear on For the Love of Sass 🙂 Are you interested in contributing something? Shoot me an email! Our first guest will be appearing soon!

xoxo. S.

I’m not really ready for Senior Year….

It’s 2 o’clock in the morning over here in Texas. I can’t stop tossing and turning. Seeing that it is now Saturday, I can’t stop thinking about how I’m flying back to school a week from now. And I have nothing figured it out :0

I have no clue who my roommates are- This is a problem because you know, I need time to stalk them and make sure they aren’t terrible like a few of my past roommates :0

I haven’t figured my class schedule out- I mean I have signed up for all my classes, but all of them are SCIENCE. And my learning disability therapist has told me I should always take one class that isn’t science…but I just can’t seem to make it work this quarter :0

My syllabus for the class I’m TAing for is not ready- Enough said.

Love- Well…you know the dilemma 💔

Some-Nights-I-Wish-I-Could-Go-BackI first met “Heart” two years ago, at the club I am now the Vice President of. And he is now the President of the club that is a big partner of my club. Which means, we will be working together A LOT. And a lot of memories will come back as we host all these events together 😦

I first met “Prince Player” three years ago. And a few weeks ago, he asked if we can hang out the day I get back. That happens to be the day we first hung out three years ago. Fate❤️ But he hasn’t talked to me since he suggested it…and I’m nervous he doesn’t want to anymore.

And I just want, things to be the way they used to be with both of them.

Help me back-to-school Fairy Godmother 😦

xoxo. S.

And So It Happened

Yes reader, after shedding a few tears and praying for six weeks that he would- he finally talked to me.

“Heart” ❤ These past few days, both “Prince Player” and “C” communicated with me. But really how thee truthcould I care about them the same way I do about “Heart” as I hate “C” and “Prince Player” will always keep treating me as just a friend.

And so this is why I prayed “Heart” would talk to me. And he did ❤ Tuesday evening, I received a text and I thought it was “Prince Player” or “C” when my phone buzzed. BUT IT WAS “HEART”. He texted me because Wednesday was a special holiday in my family and he wanted to wish me! IT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER. I decided to take advantage of the opportunity and admit my weakness as I texted back, “Thanks sweetie! Miss you so much!”

And he immediately responded back that he missed me too ❤ So there we began talking. He asked me how much I missed him and I said, “So much”. And then I asked him the same. Guess what he said? “Shahz…I died every second. Your tan skin makes me cry at night.” FINALLY. A guy that likes me as much as I like him.

He explained that all he’s been doing over the summer is work. I think he works an 11am to 11pm shift almost every day. My poor baby. He also explained that he’s continuing to have a lot of family stress on top of work. No wonder why he hasn’t been speaking to me. And so he called me and we talked some more. Then he had to go to bed. I fell asleep feeling amazing.

And then I got a text from “Prince Player”. I responded even though I was half asleep. And he never responded. Why does he do that to me.

yupAnyways, I’m glad “Heart” and I are talking again…but I know it’s always going to be on and off. I’ll hate him one day, and love him the next. No one is on our side. Could you blame them? “Heart” can be so cruel at times. But…we can’t blame him either. He has so much to handle.

I wonder if timing will ever be right for me and “Heart” to pursue our relationship 😦

xoxo. S.

 

Sophomore Year Recap and Summer Musings

inspiration part 1I never thought this day would come reader. I have been waiting for my report card to write you guys a Sophomore Year recap post. And…I GOT STRAIGHT A’s!!!! Who would have thought, the girl that was on probation last year could climb up like this? I would like to thank all of you, my family, my friends, and the men in my life for popping in to help me out when I needed all of you the most ❤ Now I can only pray that I continue to do well.

Forgive me for neglecting you reader, I have been rather busy. I enrolled myself in a Chemistry course and I have to spend 5 hours on it everyday. Yay summer school! But hey, I figure I will take another shot at achieving my dreams and use my summer wisely. Not to mention, Colorado makes me feel so darn lonely! I know NOBODY here.

It makes me miss “Prince Player” and “Heart” terribly 😦 I wish I could talk to one of them. The last time I had a break this long, “Heart” was here and we talked every single day for 6 weeks. Now I have 12 weeks without him and we are not talking. I always wish that things can go back to the way it used to be, but sadly- there’s no such thing as a time machine 😦

Anyways, because of my loneliness- it would be nice if you could stop by every now and then, reader. I promise I will amuse you with my wit and charm!

xoxo. S.