Why Yes I Do Believe In Fate (Daily Prompt!)

Once again, I have arrived fashionably late for the daily prompt party…but, I am here!

Daily Prompt Question: “Do you believe in fate or do you believe you can control your own destiny?”

Well, holy crap. I do believe fate exists because right before this prompt came out, I published a post called “Fate”, and immediately deleted it.

And of course, that prompt was all about how much I believe in fate when it comes to one aspect of my life- love.

Over a week ago, “Prince Player” and I had a great conversation and he mentioned how he wanted to see me the day I come back to school. I said okay…but at the same time, I was so tense because this is the day where I have to move into my new apartment. And unlike the past three years, my family won’t be coming down to help because of their recent move to Texas. So I started panicking about how I will move all of my stuff into my new place all by myself :0 On move in day, I always have the biggest anxiety attack of the year. And as much as I wanted to tell player to come the next day, I agreed to meet as soon as we get back because…well…he misses me and I miss him.

As days went by and he suddenly stopped talking to me, I read my journal from freshman year and realized something. The day he proposed to see me again, is the SAME EXACT DAY we hung out for the first time three years ago! OUR ANNIVERSARY. Holy. Moly. Now I definitely need to see him the day I get back!

“I can’t believe it. The day player wants to see me is the same day we hung out for the first time three years ago. The day we took our first walk of many walks. The day he first called me pretty. The day we first ate carrot cake-” I gush and fall onto my bed as I FaceTime with my friend Mr. Photography dude.

He says I’m nuts and that all of this is just…pure coincidence…just like all my other interactions with player.

It’s crazy. I always tell player that fate/God really, really, really wants us to have some kind of presence in each others lives because:

Sometimes, I bump into him the day after we fight.

Sometimes, he’ll text me right as I’m thinking of him.

Sometimes, I can sense him standing behind me.

how do you know thatSometimes, he can read my mind and spit out exactly what I’m thinking.

Sometimes, I have an instinct something is wrong with him.

These things never happen with “Heart”, I literally have to pray for him to show up again in my life. And he has literally popped out of no where behind me and scared the hell out of me :0 I can never, ever, sense his presence!

Fate never really worked between us :/ We had to work really hard for our relationship. But that’s okay too…I remember texting each other every single day without a pause the first six weeks we meet. We were so comfortable in taking control of our relationship that we didn’t even need to wait for fate! But even with this. It all started when he came down to my (then) home state of Colorado for his work. His family’s business exists in other states. But those six weeks, he ended up in Colorado…with me ❤ Fate. Sigh, I miss that relationship 😦

Ah. Fate and the power to control your destiny…do you believe in one or a little bit of both??

xoxo. S.


Love Stings

Daily Prompt: “Franz Kafka said, “we ought to read only books that bite and sting us.” What’s the last thing you read that bit and stung you?”

Well it wasn’t a book…but it was a quote.

601ac8a128225bc371b60ab5ccd04917_730As I was moping around to see if “Prince Player” would finally talk to me and walking as if this week could not get any worse, I saw “Heart” post this on his Facebook last night.


I saw this quote a few weeks ago, and I thought of HIM immediately. About that time I gave him a $25 donation for an event he was hosting and it was all the money I had.

How dare he?

I pray he did not post it with me in mind. Because, he never gave me a penny.

Even my friends liked it…do they think he posted this about me?

As I kept reading all the comments our friends wrote below his post, I kept getting stung even more.

Comment #1: “Oh hey getting deep huh?”

Comment #2: “Oh yea “Heart” has gone deep ;)”


Yep. That stings.

xoxo. S.


Am I Wrong?

We all have songs that remind us of specific periods and events in our lives. Twenty years from now, which song will remind you of the summer of 2014?

It will have to be “Am I Wrong” by Nico and Vinz. It recaps my past year.

This whole year, I’ve been having to defend myself. Everytime I said something, everyone wanted to know why. Whether it was the decision to change my major, quit my job, my ADHD, my like for “Prince Player”, my love for “Heart”, not posting the Facebook status everyone else was posting- I had to tell myself that I am not wrong. I am not wrong for having a vision, I am not wrong for thinking “Heart” and I can be something real, and I am not wrong for not doing what everybody else is doing. This road is mine, I’ll fall but I’ll grow.

That’s just how I feel ❤

xoxo. S.

Inspired by: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/musical-marker/

He’s So Fine!

I can’t believe WordPress has released a Daily Post topic that I can actually write all day about.


I have one word for you, “Heart”. What I think is so fine about him, is his devotion to me- he thinks I’m fine!

One day he was closing my blinds very furiously, I asked him what he was doing. “I DON’T WANT ANYONE SEEING MY WOMAN!!!” he said.

I laughed so hard. No other guy has ever been protective of me like that. So what else is fine about him?

1) His hazel eyes- God. The only creature on this planet that I love with hazel eyes is my dog. I don’t know what it is about the color of their eyes, they both drag me into their soul and I get lost in their eyes.

2) His smile- He has dimples like mine. But there is something about the way he smiles at me, like he’s nervous and shy to approach me. The other day, my friends and I bumped into him. He gave me that smile, waved, and walked away. “Oh my god!!! Look at the way he looks at Shaz!!” my friends gushed.

3) His acceptance- I am a sinner. I am not as smart as other girls. I am insane. He loves me just the same.

4) His shyness with me- I love the way he isn’t cocky or confident when we’re together. A lot of guys just take control of me and treat me like I’m just any other girl. Every time “Heart” looks at me, he looks at me like he did the first night we met. Every time I make myself look beautiful for him- he takes in a deep breath as if he can’t believe he has a woman like me. Every time he lays a finger on me, he is so fragile as if he’s touching the Queen.

Yea. “Heart” is so fine. If only our love could be fine too. But, we try our best to be together and that’s all that matters.

xoxo. S.