Strangers

Plop. I have fallen.

Omg. One crazy 11 hour shift later, I fall in the parking lot of the clinic. Chicago had one heck of a snowstorm over the weekend and it left a lot of ice everywhere. I hold my knee, god that is painful.

And finally, I can cry. I can cry about that thing that happened with Prince Player.

For two months I’ve been trying to get it out of my system. “Feeling is healing” I kept telling myself over and over again. But it appeared my heart was too numb with all the damage done to feel anything.

I get in my car as best as I could. I’ll assess the damage when I get home.

I think about the last 8 weeks. Just that morning, I made my cup of coffee and sat down. I was running late for work but I knew it was going to be a long day and wanted some peace before I went in.

“Seriously? After all that?? Why would he even fly all the way here? To use you?” my mentor asked when I told him the news 8 weeks ago.

I think about that. I think of all the people I had to tell that it didn’t work out. I think of how my 8 years worth of trying was a waste. I think of how I jinxed it. I literally told the few people I told I didn’t say anything at first because I didn’t want to jinx it.

When I get home I prop my leg up on a pillow and put some frozen peas on my knee. My knee is swollen but it will be fine. We will see about my heart.

I stare at the ceiling. After 8 weeks of feeling nothing about this situation, I’m suddenly… mad. Usually I feel sad after breakups so this is weird. But I’m mad. I’m mad at player. How could he pretend like I don’t exist, after breaking my heart for the 100th time. Am I not a human being? It’s like we are strangers…

Did he ever even like me. Or did he just feel sorry for me.

My eyes widen. I shut it.

He did. He liked me. Even if it was just for 6 weeks, he did.

What a shame.

I turn off the lights. I know it’s for the best. After 8 years of the same thing, I shouldn’t have expected anything better this time around.

I’m a good person. I accepted him as he is. Forgave him. Loved him. And prayed for him even when he wasn’t mine. I did my best.

I remember what he said the first time he broke my heart 8 years ago. “Some day, you’ll make a guy very happy”.

Yes I will.

The next morning I get up, my knee is feeling better- and so is my heart. Feeling really is healing ain’t it.

xoxo. S.

If you can top this terrible week, we need to start a support group

Warning: This post is for mature audiences. It discusses serious relationships and health issues. If you have any type of judgement, please, find another blog post to read. I am choosing to share this because one time a reader said “I like how you help women feel like they are not alone” and I stand by it.  

It was a long three weeks. Waking up from naps and good night’s sleep were hard. The moment my eyes opened, I would stare at the empty space next to me. I thought about the body that used to lay there. On one particular day, I woke up crying, and cried for 15 minutes. Thank goodness I hadn’t done my makeup for work yet- otherwise I would have been late.

It was getting unbearable. I needed to talk to him. I wanted to know why he left, why he started pursuing other options if he really did have “so much going on in his life”. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, I needed an answer.

So last weekend, I text him.

“We should talk” I say.

He reads it immediately. But takes a while to respond. I expected that.

“What’s up?” he asks.

I take a deep breath. “I respect you breaking up with me and not leading me on. I respect your kind words when you broke up with me. But I do not respect you not being honest about why you left, and I am torn.”

“I’m sorry Shaz” he responds.

My eyes widen. “So you did lie?” I ask.

“Can’t say I did” he says.

“Help me understand. One evening, you tell me that you are breaking up with me because you have a lot on going on- and the next morning, I see you pursuing other girls” I say.

I wait. In deep anxiety. Finally I have called him out, and I need to know what he will say.

“I do have a lot going on in my life, and I don’t spend a lot of time pursuing other people” he says.

Deep breath.

“Then why do it?” I ask.

And then he says what makes my entire world shatter. Something I never expected from him.

“Guys still have needs I guess” he says.

I FEEL GUTTED.

GUTTED.

It starts.

“Are you serious?” I ask.

“…” is his response.

“Was I not meeting your *needs*?” I ask.

“I didn’t think it would be fair to you” he said.

Converting a relationship into a hook up only thing?

Yea no. Of course it wouldn’t be.

“You know, I wish you just told me that” I said.

“I mean would you?” he asks.

I’m confused. “Would I what? Just hook up?” I ask.

“Yea” he says.

“You do realize that’s how it began right. That’s what I wanted. You were the one that started spending the night. And texting me. And taking me out. And calling me your girlfriend. And I began to like you the way you liked me” I said.

“Well would you do it now?” he asks.

I couldn’t believe what I agreed to do next. It was against everything I stood for. But I was trying to prove something to him. I was trying to prove to him that I can be just as emotionless as him.

And instead.

I let him win again. I prove him right. I couldn’t handle it.

He stays a mere 10 minutes.

After he leaves I feel sick to my stomach. He looked so good. He took the break up so well. Went to the gym and everything. I decide I will do the same. I go to the gym and do a very rigorous work out.

I decide I’ll buy healthy groceries too. On the way to the grocery store I feel a bad stomach ache. Like I’m going to vomit. I make a crucial driving mistake. My heart races when I get into the parking lot of the grocery store. I quickly grab my groceries and drive carefully home.

At home, I make myself something to eat thinking it will calm me down. But only a few minutes later, I am hurled over the bathroom toilet. Puking. I can also feel myself bleeding.

My dad calls.

“Are you sick?” he asks.

“I think so. My stomach hurts and I’m puking” I say.

My dad talks me through it and asks me to go to the ER. “Omg no” I say.

“Well have about if we ask your brother to come over? I think you are having anxiety. If you can’t talk to your mom or I- talk to him” he says.

“No” I say.

My dad talks me through it. I don’t listen to him on going to the ER or urgent care. We agree I will go to bed (it’s 9:00) and I’ll call my doctor in the morning.

I wake up at 5:00 in the morning. Still it pain, still bleeding, still vomiting.

I wait the few hours for my doctor’s office to open. And call the specialist, the one that works with the PCOS.

“Hi there…I am experiencing severe abdominal pain and I really really need to come in” I say to the nurse.

I hate these nurses. “Okay that would be your primary care doctor. Not us, your gynecologist”.

“No listen to me. This started after I had relations yesterday. It is severe pelvic pain” I say trying not to cry even more.

“Oh…ok. In that case. We have a 3:00 available” mean nurse says.

“Thank you” I say in a *glad you finally listened* tone.

I drive to work crying. When I get in I tell the associates I’ll be leaving early. I tell my boss too. And then I tell my fellow co-worker.

“Omg Shaz, do you need to talk?” she asks.

“Maybe later” I say.

I do my work and finally the time comes.

I wait in the doctor’s office and am roomed rather quickly. And doctor comes in rather quickly. He is not my usual OB/Gyne. But he was, a godsend.

“Tell me what happened” he says.

I tell him everything. And he listens. As a person, not as a doctor.

“Has this happened before?” he asks.

I nod. “It has but…it would go away within like an hour. It would also be mild. This is severe and going on for a day” I say crying.

He hands me a Kleenex, “I am sorry you are so sad. And I am sorry you are in pain” he says with genuine care in his eyes.

“Let’s do a pelvic ultrasound” he says.

Oh shit that uncomfortable thing. “I’d hate to that and not find anything. We’ve done it before and it hasn’t showed anything” I say.

“I’d hate to not to do it and you have something” he says.

Fair.

So I go into the uncomfortable room. Undress. And the kind radiologist does it.

She says the same thing “tell me what happened”. I tell her too and she is understanding.

“We will make this as comfortable as possible for you. My job isn’t to hurt to you” she says.

And my god, she does make it comfortable. It only pinched a little.

“I hope you feel better” she says when we finish.

I smile.

I go back in to my room and wait for the doctor.

He comes back and sits down. I take a deep breath.

“You have some cysts. About 5 of them. And it looks like one of them ruptured…” he says.

My eyes well up. “Did it happen because of what I did with my former partner” I ask.

He passes me the Kleenex again. “Most likely. It could have also been that exercise you did too. You said you went to spin class?”

I nod.

“It could have been either. Don’t blame yourself. Women with PCOS get cysts” he says kindly.

I sigh. It’s almost like a sign from God I should never see “him” again. Like a punishment. Like-

“I want you to get some bed rest. Stay hydrated, get in as much electrolytes as you can. 3 Advils every 6 hours and stay away from carbs until the cysts go away which is 7-10 days” doctor says.

I nod. He explains we will be changing my PCOS treatment as well as it appears the treatment I was on was causing bad side effects. We discuss options and I choose one that I feel will be best.

“Anything else I can answer for you?” doctor asks.

I shake my head. “I hope you feel better” he says smiling.

I thank him and get on my way. This time when I drive, I thank God for good doctors and good healthcare. There are some things I am thankful for.

I call my parents when I get home. They are very caring. I order Red Lobster from Uber eats as shrimp is okay for me to eat. It’s comforting, but doesn’t take the pain away. I wonder if I should call a sick day then, or wait until morning. I decide morning. There may be a chance I can go into work.

But I get up at 5 again in pain. I decide not. I wait two hours and text my boss. She tells me to feel better.

My first sick day. 10 months without a sick day and here I am. I rest, I read, I shower, and I pray. I drink plenty of soup and drink lots of Gatorade. I finish crying whatever tears I had left of my situation.

I come back to work the next day in full swing. No tears. Pain yes, but I keep taking Advil.

I’m really lucky to have co-workers that care and parents that care as they kept me going. Friends and former partner- disappointing. But I know one day, I will find a good community and partner again.

Until then.

❤ S

The Best Of Me

When I came back to school on Monday, everyone was commending me on my play. I was proud of myself. My performance has set me free and I no longer have a panic attack when I hear the word “assault”. Unfortunately, Monday came with a hurdle- I had to politely decline the admission to the combined Bachelor’s/Master’s program at my school. It broke my heart, but I realized two things 1) I can’t afford it 2) I don’t want to stay here an extra year- I am ready to fly away and discover myself in a new place.

As if this hasn’t been enough, it has been a very crazy week with the start of midterms and of course…my job! Yesterday was the big event that I was assistant coordinator for. I think I worked over 50 hours this week. I am exhausted to say the least. Surprisingly, I had been feeling fine about the “Heart” break up. I was amused by how happy I was this week and how little I thought of him. It could be because I was occupied with all of this work.

At the event yesterday, I spotted “Prince Player”. I had to go talk to him. I hate that I am always working when I see him. I decide to put work aside for 5 minutes, we are entering our last year of talk to himcollege and we need to make things right. I go talk to him. About how we should find time to talk. Obviously not then because I was working. He is very hesitant and keeps trying to leave me. I don’t let him and he says we’ll talk next weekend. Oh heck no, I know him very well, the longer he is away from me-the more he thinks to himself and avoids me even longer! I tell him to come later, after I am done with work. He agrees. I wonder to myself how long it will take him to send me an “I’m not coming” text.

It’s probably less than half an hour when I get the text about how he won’t be coming over because he knows I just got broken up with and he doesn’t want to use me as he is trying to become a better person. I roll my eyes all the way to the ceiling.

When I get home 3 hours later, and am just about ready to take a nap after my 12 hour day, I get another text from him. He will be coming over after all. Wonderful. I quickly check my hair and makeup. Both messy. I decide not to fix either. If I know him as well as I think I do, he won’t be staying long anyway. And then I panic and wonder to myself at which point he will say “I feel bad. I shouldn’t have come over”. I bite into a kitkat and nervously chew, wiping my fingers on my bed sheets without thinking. Great. Chocolate everywhere.  Hopefully, he doesn’t see it.

When he gets here, I finally get to talk to him about all of the things I wanted to talk to him about. I finally find out the information from him that I want to know…and of course some information I didn’t want to know. He has some questions for me too. It is nice of him to care about this terrible break-up between me and “Heart”. He asks me if I have been talking to all of my ex’s as that is “a habit I have when a boyfriend breaks up with me”. Then I get sad. Very very sad. Because as I told him, “No. None of them can replace what he has given me”. Player makes a comment about how that is “precious”. I laugh. We discuss our relationship. How it will end soon as we are entering our last year.

And so I finally tell him how I have been feeling about our last conversation, “I don’t want to be remembered as the girl you hurt” I say.

“But you are…” he respond.

“But I don’t think of you like that. (How can I anyways?  I never hurt him!) I will remember you as the guy that made me stronger than I thought I was” I say.

“That was my goal all along!” he says.

We both stare at each other. And laugh. It’s funny. Hilarious. He was joking of course.

And then after awhile, he says, “You just…. saw the best in me.”

I smile to myself. It’s a gift. I see the best in everyone.

He barely stays an hour and says “I feel bad. I shouldn’t have come”. What did I tell you reader? He says he has to go, but I’m not upset. He asks me about a million times if I am and I say no. I was telling him the truth. “I mean. All the men in my life just kind of come and leave me very quickly. So yea. No. I’m used to it.” I meant to say “no”, but…that’s what came out. Oops. Anyways, he’s hurt that I compared him to the all the other men in my life, I can see it. At this point, he sits down and tells me what has been going on in his life lately. I felt bad, because, I’ve been there. It seems he is going through the same exact hardships I am going through (or sadly, already went through). I process what he has told me and sit still. How does he not see we are more similar than different?

He’s upset. I can tell. I’m upset that he’s upset.

“If you’re upset, tell me you’re upset! I just wish you would tell me when you were upset!” I give him a half smile. He still thinks I’m upset about him leaving so soon. I  assure him (again) that I am not upset. For heavens sake, I was actually happy that he even came to see me and I finally got to catch up with him! So he finally believes me and we say our goodbyes. I tell him to text me if he wants to talk and he says he will. I’m alright. But as soon as he left, I shut the door behind me and was left with tears in my eyes. I was happy to see him…why was I suddenly crying? I shut my eyes to go back to sleep and I realize why. I may see the best in everyone, but there are few people who see the best in me. And the one that saw the most best in me? “Heart”. I lost the best in me after the “Prince Player” scandal and everything that went wrong my freshman year. But “Heart” brought it back. The best of me ❤

I’m Going to Choose Not to be a Victim

It’s been 2 and 1/2 days since “Heart” broke up with me for good. I feel like the past year of my life has been a lie. It’s like his words are tattooed onto me.

“We were never together…I never had feelings for you”

“It’s pointless, to be honest”

“Trust me. It’s better for both of us. Well at least for me. For the first time in my life im doing something for myself”

“Simply, move on. As hard as it sounds”

“We don’t connect well as I hope we can. I don’t feel the same as I used to feel. And it’s better we let go and find ourselves somewhere else”

“You treat me like I’m the only person in the world” (When I told him he treats me like I’m dumb)

Damn. That last one. Isn’t that how people want to be treated? And everything else…if he never had feelings for me, what move onwas it that we had then? He used me? I have so many questions, but I know I will never get the answers because he told me to delete his number and move on. I will never understand what I did to make him do this to me.

At least this time, he got the timing right. He didn’t do it during my midterms or my performance. Also, on Friday and yesterday, my roommates were gone. This was good. It gave me time to cry and just be alone. I was extremely busy both days with events at school, but I would randomly get sad at what happened Thursday night. I felt like someone I loved died. That’s what it felt like. Him telling me not to contact him…how else am I supposed to feel if I can never speak to him again?will and alicia

And then. I started to hate myself. I wanted to know what I possibly could have done to make him leave me. Why was he acting like I did something wrong. I didn’t, Why was he treating me so poorly? He was the one breaking up with me, not the other way around (cue the Alicia and Will GIF <3) But mostly, I wanted to know how I was blinded by him, how could I not see that he was just using me? 😦

Last night, I went to tell Mr. Photography dude the news.

“You know something, this past year of my life has been a lie. The only reason why I was able to achieve all the accomplishments I did this year like make the Dean’s list, get into the Master’s program, get two jobs, get casted in a play…was because of the confidence I got from ‘Heart’. And then he tells me we never had anything. So…everything has been a lie” I told him.

He shakes his head. “No. YOU did all those things by yourself! Sure he may have been there to make you feel better, but was he the one cramming for your exams? Was he the one that wrote all those application essays? Don’t make me go on! YOU DID IT. So no! The only thing that was a lie, was him. And I’m sorry about that Sad Beauty, I am” he says treating me to a latte.

I accept his gift. He has always supported “Heart” …but I knew this is where he will draw the line (just like I did). Finally, I believe what he and everyone has been telling me, “Heart” isn’t treating me right. He never did, I shake all these thoughts out of my head, I have to get to dress rehearsal for my play.

Everybody’s monologue was amazing. I cried and laughed. Then I laughed and cried. And then, one of the last performers said something that made me re-think the way I have been feeling for the past few days…”I am not a victim. I am a survivor”.

Finally, I realized something. I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s Heart’s loss. He lost a very smart, caring, real, and beautiful woman. He will regret it one day.

So I’m going to choose not to be a victim. Even though, every man in my life has hurt me, and this one that I thought was the most genuine man to ever walk into my life completely used me, I’m going to choose not to be a victim.

I will update you all on how I’m doing 🙂 It hurts me that I will never be able to write a cute story about me and “Heart” ever again. I pray for strength to heal during this time and the courage to move on.

xoxo. S.

Do you believe in life after love?

I do. But today, “Heart” made it absolutely clear he does not. At least not with me.

After six weeks of not seeing him, he finally texted last night. He asked me how finals were going and when I’d be leaving for home. I told him next week and we agreed that today might be the best day because I have my biggest final next week. He said he wants to talk, I asked him it was serious. He said no. I asked him if it was going to make me sad (you never know what he means by talk) and he said “No, I promise”.

I barely slept last night. I wondered if he actually wanted to talk. Usually when he says that, we don’t really end up talking. But seeing as I haven’t seen him in 6 weeks, I had a feeling it was serious. Most people have been telling me he has been playing me, I knew deep down in my heart that’s absolutely false. He and I have so much love for each other. And as I later found out, that’s exactly what he wanted to talk about.

It was a very cold day out in Chicago. I doubted whether or not he would come see me, but he did. I put on a cute dress and did my make-up. He kissed me as soon as he walked in. So far so good I thought. As I held him in my embrace, he said he had to do homework. Uh what. I thought he was joking, so I laughed. But he said he seriously needed to submit something. So I said go for it. And then he changed his mind. All of a sudden, he was holding me in his embrace again. After being intimate for 10 minutes, he stopped.

“What does this mean to you?” he asked. Here we go again. I told him. And he said, “Look I’ve been talking to a lot of people. I’m becoming more religious, focused on work, focused on academics- and everyone tells me this is wrong. It is wrong to be intimate with a woman I have no future with”. Of course, he refuses to accept me to have a future with him.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have came over. See, this is why I wanted to do homework first, so I could have time to think about what to do. I didn’t mean to get intimate and break-up with you” he said.

I shook my head. Something tells me he would have done the same thing even if he had “time”.

He went to take the picture of us off my bulletin board. “Don’t” I said stone cold.

“I’m sorry. I just think it will help you forget about me better”.

“Don’t tell me how I can forget you. You have already done enough” I said trying not to cry.

And so he came to me. And said something that would alleviate anyone’s accusations of him being with another girl, “For the longest time, I had your photo as my phone wallpaper. Not this one, but of you on the night we met. But I had to remove it because when I was here last time, 6 weeks ago, I almost told you that I love you”. It all made sense now. And might I just add, there’s something “Prince Player” would not have done.

“So that’s why you haven’t been here in 6 weeks. Because you loved me and were trying not to love me” I said.

He held my hands and nodded, “You deserve to do all these things with someone you can have a future with. And so do I.”

I swallowed back tears and he started packing up. I thanked him for telling me all of this in person and he thanked me for letting him come over. Before I forgot, I found the bracelet he left behind last time he was here and I gave it to him, “You might not want to forget this”. He wore it and grabbed my wrists. And he placed his lips to my ear, “Use your time in Denver to forget me. Good luck on finals and have a safe trip back home”. I could barely speak, “Okay” I whispered.

And then he was gone. No kiss, no extra hug. I watched him walk away. I cried for a solid 5 minutes and went to bed. I had a nightmare that I was caught in a fire and paralyzed. I looked up the meaning, apparently it means that I have strong passion to someone and I am participating in risky activities- hence “playing with fire”. Well I guess my horrible dreams speaks for itself.

I wanted to keep fighting for us, but I know this is a losing battle for us. We can’t explain our culture and religions to others if we tried. But the thing is, I was willing to have a future with him. He on the other hand, does not believe in life after love. He used love as an excuse to end the life in our relationship.

“No matter how hard I try, you keep pushing me aside. And I can’t break through, there’s no talking to you. So sad that you’re leaving, takes time to believe it. But after all is said and done, you’re going to be the lonely one. Do you believe in life after love? I can feel something inside me say, I really don’t think you’re strong enough”.

xoxo. S.

All’s Fair in Love and War Part 2 (Is it really?)

As if things could not get any worse.

My best friend was hosting this cultural event at school today, sort of like the one “Heart” and I met at. I had a feeling he was going to be there, but I had to go because like I said it was my BEST FRIEND that was hosting it.

Of course he was there. He was hanging around his friends the entire time and wouldn’t even look at me. I don’t know how you can ignore someone you used to love for almost 2 hours at a party after not seeing each other for a long time. I at least thought he would come over and ask me how I was doing!

problem taylor swifftBut really. At the end I just couldn’t take it anymore. So I walked out after 2 hours. And who was outside the door? Him.

“Oh hi!” I said not giving a shit.

 

“Hey, how are you” he asked, also probably not giving a shit.

Some girl was with him, so I didn’t answer- I just walked away and didn’t bother looking back.

All is not fair in love and war. What. the. crap! As I have mentioned in other posts, “Sugar”, “C”, and “Prince Player” would never ignore me if I saw them in public after a break up. Even if they did, I wouldn’t mind going up and talking to them.

But “Heart”. Holy cow. He is something else.

This has got to be the worst break-up in Shaz history.

xoxo. S.

 

“Last Love Poem”

You didn’t want a forever.

All I wanted was to be together,
but you basically said “never”.

No more of my lipstick
on your neck
it’s making me sick.

No more of my letters,
please, take back all your sweaters.

No more “only for you”
when you actually
wouldn’t mind having two.

I can’t be the person you want me to be.

It kills me, it really does.

You won’t see me in a white dress,
I won’t see you at the end of the aisle,
we won’t say “I do”.

This is the last love poem
I’m writing for you.

cropped-c16bdca9cff78eaa544147ecad9492cc1.jpeg ©Copyright 2014 by Shaz at For The Love Of Sass
All rights reserved.

Letting Go

doneWell reader,

The day has unfortunately come. “Heart” has been so distant from me for the past three weeks, I have been dieing waiting for him. I figured that if he kept going on this path- I would talk to him.

But I didn’t have to. Last night, I was out with one of our mutual friends until 2am. We threw our friend a surprise party and had a great time. I sent “Heart” a few photos to remind him that I still exist and that I am fine without him.

I had to be up at 6:00 today to help run this service day my school was hosting. So after I went to bed at 3, I get a text at 5. I am half asleep and I wonder to myself who could possibly be texting me at that hour.

It was “Heart” and it said: “Hey are you awake?” Thinking he was in trouble, I responded yes and asked him if everything was okay.

He didn’t answer the question and just proceeded to ask me if I will come over to his house. I informed him that it is 5 in the morning and I have an event at 7. He then proceeded to say he wants to take our relationship intimacy to the next level. I said no because he never sees me. Next thing you know, he says he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. He told me to stop waiting for him and to have a nice life. I called him out on it- “I don’t get it. One minute you miss me and want me in your arms and the next moment you want to leave me for good” I said. And to that, he replied saying that he is just very very very confused and doesn’t think there is a future for us.

That is nothing new. He always believed that and refused to give our love a chance.

And then he said the words  that broke my heart- “Just forget me. Please. That’s it. I won’t come back Shahz. I don’t want to. Goodbye Shahz.”

So there I was. This should have been a very happy morning, my first time leading a service group. But instead I was laying in bed at 6 in the morning crying my eyes out. I cried so hard as I put on my leggings and shoes, I was not in the mood to go out to a neighborhood and mulch.

Somehow though, I did. And I had a good time. But after we finished and headed back to school, I did not stay for the after activities. I went home. I went to sleep immediately and dreamed about him and all the things we can’t have.

I was right to make the Song of the Week: “Slow Me Down” by Sara Evans. I knew something really wasn’t right. And I know he will miss everything we had.

But I just don’t care anymore. It seems I never meant much to him anyway. I guess you can say, I’m letting go.

xoxo. Shaz.

****A note to the reader: As always I welcome your sweet comments and encouragement. But please, for the next few weeks, don’t write comments like “Heart has chosen not to be in your life. Move on. You will find someone else better one day.” I already know that and feel like crap.

5 Things Not To Say To Your Introverted Newly Single Friend

what hurts the most 21.) “You guys broke up already? It’s only been like two months!”

And your point is? He and I made every single minute of those two months count.

2.) “It’s his loss.”

Thanks. But it’s my loss too.

3.) “GIRLS NIGHT!”

No thanks. I would like to be by myself and decompress for a while thank you.

4.) “You’ll find someone else in no time”

It’s not easy for me to connect with people and trust them. It does take time.

5.) “How are you?”

Lonely. Empty. Confused. Ready to fall apart. Yea mixed feelings. Hope that answers your question.

Dear reader,

You know your friends better than most. Don’t harass them with these questions after a break-up. Of course you’re only trying to help, but some of these- don’t really help your introverted friend. Your best bet? Ask them how you can help, and let them know you are there when they are finally ready to talk about it.

xoxo. S.