If you can top this bad Valentine’s Day story…

Erm well, you should just tell me what to do lol.

But this past Valentine’s Day was a strange strange strange Valentine’s Day. I used to think my worst Valentine’s Day was that very awkward college one with “Prince Player”.

But last week 🤦🏻‍♀️ I was in for a surprise. The day started out pretty good. I had two interviews the next day so I was preparing for them all day. Towards the end of the day, I log onto social media. Couples have posted cute pics of them with their significant others and it’s really lovely to see. But then I see a picture “Scientist” has posted with another girl!!! Kissing!! Now this would be fine, if he was not just messaging me this past Sunday and every other day about how much he misses me and can’t wait to be with me again 😦 So my gut was right, he has been seeing someone else this whole time.

Wow, I thought “Scientist” really was the one for me. Why…did this happen.

Then, I went to bake (you guys know I love baking and holidays are a good excuse to bake!)

My plan was to make a heart shaped cake. And it worked, but when it came down to it- the cake cracked! I text my friend a pic and say “Oh my god my heart broke on Valentine’s Day”.

*yes friends I still got a sense of humor when things go bad

“It’s ok! It’s just a tiny piece that’s broken Shaz, you can fix it!” my friend responds.

“Okay but what about my actual heart?” I respond back considering she also knew about the situation that happened earlier in the day. *yes I went there!

She bursts out laughing. “Too good Shaz. Too good” she responds.

I laugh too and I am able to fix it just fine and it is a very beautiful heart shaped cake. My family and I eat it and everyone loves it.

The next morning I wake up early for my interviews to make myself coffee, and see my cake. It was neatly covered with saran wrap the night before as I wanted to save the left overs but didn’t want to ruin the heart shape. When I remove the saran wrap I see things running… My eyes widen….ANTS!!!!! ANTS TOOK OVER MY HEART CAKE!!!

I quickly dispose of the cake and Clorox the heck out of the plate it was sitting in. Just my luck really.

As if things really really can’t get worse. I begin my first interview, and I legit have- 15 interviewers!!!!! Not just that…

“We see you have listed Spanish as one of your skills. So we have prepared some questions for you in Spanish” the hiring manager says.

Oh goody. The last time I spoke Spanish was when I graduated with accelerated credits but that was in high school!

But I answer the questions. And somehow, my Spanish comes out fluently and naturally and they said I did good.

But still. It is my 5th month without a job, and let’s see here, the third guy that broke my heart in the past year. I feel I am close to the finish line, but I can’t see it and I’m worried 😔

God help me. I hope all of you had a lovely Valentine’s Day! I promise I will write you your letters once things settle!

xoxo. S.

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A Letter to Chris: A dash of humor, food, and inspiration!

Today I am writing to our friend Chris at Short Poems and Other Nonsense For everyone just tuning in, please read I’m Bringing Letters Back!

Dear Chris (aka my blog brother),

Thank you for being the first person to request a letter from me. Meh after I pressed *publish*, I waited and waited to see who would want a letter. I was getting nervous no one would want a letter, and then there you were! Well I guess that is what makes you and I family, when no one else is there- family always is 🙂

Now Chris, at first you presented me a challenge. You asked me to write about FOUR different categories- lists, humor, food, and inspiration! And then cousin Aaron (yes I just declared Aaron is our cousin ok?) wanted me to right him a letter about how to avoid being friend-zoned. And then brother Paul wants me to write him a letter about EVERY category I listed! Guys, you drive me crazy I swear. But that is what I love about our family 🙂

Ok enough about Aaron and Paul. Onto you Chris. Here begins our 4 categories you wanted me to write about:

Inspiration:

So Chris, as I was saying, at first I was kind of bummed nobody wanted letters. But then I remembered, when I was a freshman in college, I went to see this poet perform live. A poet like us Chris! And there were very few people in the audience right. So when she got up on stage she said, “Michael (the host) told me *Sorry many people didn’t show up*. And I said, “Son, don’t you worry. Whoever is here, is meant to be here”. 

That always gets me Chris. When I don’t get a large response whether it is in real life or in our blogging world, I remember those that are present, are meant to be present and I should be happy that they are here and wanting to be a part of whatever it is that I am doing.

Food

Does Canada have tacos Chris? Better yet, does Canada have a Superbowl Chris? Gosh, I could just imagine you and Paul laughing at me. But I once remember reading that Paul has never eaten a taco! So please excuse my questions…

Anyways, the reason why I ask is becauseimg_3199 here in U.S- it is the Superbowl this Sunday! Like many, my family takes this event very seriously. Usually, if they are not at a party hosted by someone else, my family orders pizza for the event. But this year, since I’m around and we are hosting, we’re making tacos! And I am excited. I love making tacos. On the right you can see a delicious spread I made the last time we made tacos 🙂 You may also notice I made churros for dessert, do you have churros in Canada? Ok ok I’ll stop with the questions now!

img_3198Because the churros are only good when they are served warm and I don’t want to keep heating them up, I have decided to make tres leches for dessert! It is probably my favorite dessert. I have attached a picture of that as well 🙂

This event is about a sport, and I am making it about food 🤭

Humor: 

Ok, well. Remember when I told you all I like writing lists Chris? Well…I keep a “shit list”. A shit list is where you write about people you are upset with and why. Shhh I know you have one Chris! Even if it is in your head! Well, I like to physically write it down and crumple it up and throw it away so I can get it out of my system you know? Ok well, I guess I forgot to crumple up a certain one of them before I went to California because when I was in California- I got a call from my mom saying she found it :0

And I had written about my ex-fiancee on there!!! Oy vey.

Anyways, I was sharing this with “Scientist”, my grad school love interest when he visited me in California. And he laughed right. And then he stopped laughing and innocently asked, “So am I on that list?”

I just about died! It was hilarious.

List:

For a list Chris, I want to share with you the top 5 quotes that have been keeping me sane as I look for a job and heal from my last relationship:

1.) “What is coming is better than what is gone”

2.) “The shell must break before the bird can fly” 

3.) “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny things compared to what lies within us”

4.) “Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us”

5.) “Don’t you know, that god knows you are doing the best you can?”

Chris, please guest blog here one day! It is an honor to be the sister of such an amazing poet.

And then, after you do that- me, brother Paul, and you should do a sibling collaboration post 🙂

Until next time,

Shaz

I’m Bringing Letters Back!

Dear reader,

About a year and a half ago, I did this thing where I wrote my readers letters. Read more about it here: A Letter to You!

It’s an idea I got from one of our dear bloggers friends (my blog brother) Paul. It was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed writing them. Now I want to do it again! Are you interested? Comment below! You could have been reading my blog for months, years, or this could be the very first post you are reading by me- I would still love to write you a letter! In your comment, let me know what I can write to you about. Example: When I first began doing this, a fellow blogger- Kaiya who was a new to WordPress at the time asked me to write about blogging tips. And I did! You can read it here A Letter to Kaiya

Other topics I excel in:

1.) Providing inspiration/motivation

2.) Food

3.) Humor

4.) Family

5.) Friends

6.) Relationships

7.) Making lists like this (I LOVE MAKING LISTS!)

If you are sitting there saying “Meh Shaz I don’t want a letter, I am a writer. I want to write YOU something.” Well be my guest! Literally! A while ago I hosted “The Shaz Show” on here where I had some of my readers guest blog and it was a lot of fun 🙂

Sooo, request your letter now! Or guest blog 😉

Can’t wait to hear from everybody! ❤

Update: I Will Be Writing Letters in This Order

1.) Chris

2.) Aaron

3.) Catherine

4.) Paul

5.) Whoever else wants a letter!

xoxo. S.

On Moving Forward

“You are a very beautiful lady, tell your husband he married up!” a gym member coming in tells me as I exit the gym.

Why thank you sir. I would have told my fiancee if we hadn’t broken up. And he probably would have mocked me if he heard that, because that’s just the way he was.

This was a rather strenuous week. Not one day did I miss my ex or regret leaving him. I don’t know if I should contribute it to mine and Scientist’s flirtatious texts over the weekend. My returning to the gym and getting back at it with my work out routine. Or everyone’s praying for me to get better.

Whatever it is, something happened this week. It started out over the weekend when I shared a joke with Scientist. He replied laughing and telling me he missed me. I blush and admit I miss him too. I think we are done with our conversation when he all of a sudden says…“I still think about how you looked that day”.

I nearly drop my phone out of my hands. He is talking about our little date in San Francisco, when I last saw him. How sweet. And so, we begin communicating again and I am happy.

Mid-week I go see my doctor for the usual blood test/check up. I’m not in a good mood because I hate needles, and as soon as I walk out the door- I get a call from who would have been my sister in law.

img_3133She is again calling, to see if I plan on going back to my ex. “You know. This isn’t nice. This relationship already caused a lot of sadness for me and my family, why should it continue? Please, I’m moving forward” I say in the most kindest tone possible but it comes out extremely emotional and I know she can practically hear the tears fall down my face.

“Ok Shaz, sorry. If you’re sad, feel free to hang up” she says. I roll my eyes and hang up.

I start my car and sigh. Later when I go get groceries with my mom, “Meant to Be” by Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line comes on. It came out in the summer when I was seeing my ex and it was my favorite song. As soon as I broke up with him however, it became the worst song on the planet. So when it came on in the car a few days ago, my mom looks at me and switches it off.

“No…it’s fine. It doesn’t mean anything to me anymore” I say.

My mom smiles a big smile. “Oh thank god! It’s a really good song!” she says.

I laugh. Yea it is. “I’m really proud of you” she says when the song ends.

I smile. I am proud of me too.

As my friend Sam said,“Just think. A year from now, what happened to you over the past few months will just be *something that happened a year ago*. And 10 years from now, it will just be *something that happened 10 years ago.* And none of it will really hurt anymore, at least not as much as it hurts right now”.  He’s right.

And as a dear reader our good friend Bryan from A Crack in the Pavement commented on one of my posts in response to the Dolly Parton quote “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain”, “But if you love storms you are my kind of person. They full of magic and surprises, a mystery around every curve. That’s my kind of rainbow.” How could I not have seen this before? Storms are really exciting. You never know what to expect and what usually follows it is extremely beautiful and calming.

xoxo. S.