Move On

It’s been 5 months now since my brother passed away.

Things are slowly moving here. I’m still grieving and wondering what to do with my life. How I can live and support my parents at the same time. A couple of weeks ago I started going back to the gym and this week I begin a grief support group. Baby steps.

This week a relative said “I know you’re sad but…we have to move on”. He’s seen my brother like three times in his life.

Fuck. Him.

I’ll move on when I want. Grievers no there is no moving on, there’s only moving forward 🥺 And I’m doing it. But I can be sad while I do it.

How much I miss my precious brother. Kindest and fun soul.

This week I started getting cramps and thought it was the stress due to his 5 month anniversary. It was actually my period. These periods during grief are really interesting. They are so much more intense. I know it’s happening when I want to stay in bed all day, eat chocolate, want space and either get really sad or angry out of no where. My mom got me these two goodies today, it was really soothing.

I’ve got a lot to say about grief readers. I just, I’m still trying to put it in words 😔This wasn’t supposed to happen. I hurt everyday. I miss him so much.

To the readers that have sent condolences, I want to say thank you, and I’ve been thinking of you all. I hope to write more soon.

xoxo. S.

One thought on “Move On

  1. To this day, I still don’t believe I ever properly grieved the loss of my father. Or maybe it’s just that I’m still grieving his loss more than 15 years later. Do what you need to do in this process. No one can tell you how to grieve or that there’s a right way of getting through this. The right words never come. Praying…

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