I am back for a hot second. Where do I begin? I’ll skip the whole “grad school is busy” spiel because you all know that by now 😉
In the last post, I mentioned I was in finals week. And I guess all of our prayers worked because I did EXCELLENT on each one! I passed my law exam, nailed my pitch to the client for my management class, published my research study/curriculum for my preventing domestic violence class, and nailed my presentation for my managing disasters class. What a comeback!
Wow. As soon as that law exam (my last final) was over, I practically skipped the streets of Boston. I couldn’t believe it. I SURVIVED my first year of grad school. I don’t understand why everyone says “real life is busier than grad school”. It’s rude. It undermines what a grad student who is paying for their work and not getting a ton of credit/compensation for what they do! Grad school is no university friends. I am working now, and I am very very very happy that my head is not in the books and I am getting paid for what I love to do. So that’s right! Right when I went home and thought I was stuck there for three months, I had an interview with one of my dream places- and they hired me! I am a health educator for the state government 🙂 It is awesome!
But my life never comes without any obstacles.
When my mom was driving me back to the airport the day before my internship, she told me about something terrible. Similar to the family crisis I was dealing with my freshman year of college. I begin crying. I ask her how in the world I’m supposed to leave at a time like this. She says I have to. I hug her extra tight when I leave, and cry all throughout the plane ride.
I call my brother when I get back to my place. My mom told me not to tell him, but I have to tell somebody. Especially my brother. I don’t know how I can keep a secret like this from him. I have to tell him. He is much more sensitive than I am, so I must remain calm and mature and try to explain to him the best way I can.
As I have mentioned in the past, my brother and I are not close as we used to be. But that night, everything changed. I realize why I love him so much.
“What’s wrong?” he asks as soon as he picks up. I had texted him saying I really needed to talk to him. And he has serious telepathy.
“Oh nothing….” I say.
“Say it” he says.
I swallow. And tell him everything.
Of course he reacted the way I thought he would.
“HOW COULD YOU BE TELLING ME THIS NOW?”
“I AM GETTING ON A PLANE!”
“I AM SO UPSET!”
“I know. I understand. Mom told me not to tell you. But I tell you because I love you. And you are one of the only people I have in this world” I say calmly.
I hear him sigh. “It will all be okay Shaz”. He says his plane is going to take off, “I love you. Thank you for telling me”.
A few minutes later, I get a text from him. “Hey. I didn’t mean to yell at you. You know how much I love you and mom and it just hurts me to hear when you two are hurting. I can’t tell you how proud I am of you for handling this so maturely”.
I smile. This is my comeback.
In life, we can choose our battles. I failed law last semester and did average in my courses- this semester I worked my butt off and did excellent in each one. 4 years ago when this crisis in my family happened, I let it consume me and take everything I loved. Now, I use the crisis to empower me to make change in our society and help other individuals dealing with the same crisis, I allow myself to have fun, I allow myself to choose my own battles.
And return with the best comeback ever when I lose.
Hope all of you are well! I am going to go ahead and use tonight to visit your blogs and read through what I missed 🙂
Also, a very Happy Ramadan to all of you who celebrate! I have been observing as well and fasting is not easy in the summer, but it is calming my mind and soul so much ❤