Every morning after I wake up and do my stretches, I like to make coffee (or run to Starbucks and get one) and drink it while I watch the Boston skyline.
And I close my eyes. Grad school is tough. Every day, there is some thing. Multiple things, multiple people, multiple issues that need my attention.
I open my eyes. I love it though. I love my school. And I love Boston.
This isn’t anything like Chicago. Ever since my first day of undergrad in Chicago, it never felt right there.
I close my eyes and think about my first year in university.
I think about the day my dad lectured me for an hour after failing my Biology exam. My mom sent me an article shortly after about a veterinarian who failed a test in undergrad, worked hard, pulled up her grades, and got into many good programs after graduating and today owns her own practice.
I think about the day where I layed in bed, wondering if I could die with no pain. But I opened up my email, and there was a poem my mom wrote about me. And a text from my brother, asking me if I was excited for his graduation. I stopped thinking about dying.
I think about the day my I went to my Biology professor to go over my exam, to show her I cared and I was trying. And how she made me cry by telling me I wasn’t trying hard enough (after paying $1000s of dollars for tutoring and studying for that class 12 hours a week with major ADHD).
Classmates who asked me why I wasn’t on the Dean’s list.
University counselors making me believe I had a mental condition that I never had before.
People that wouldn’t say my name, because they didn’t know how/want to learn how to pronounce it.
Guys that didn’t realize what I was worth.
I open my eyes.
I can’t believe where I’m sitting.
It has been 9 months since graduate school started. And none of the above things have happened here. I am finally getting the respect I always wanted.
Things are tough here, but the professors and staff are so much nicer. So much more helpful. So much more caring. So much more respectful.
I have waited forever, for something just like this ❤
Thank you all for being patient as I work hard and prepare for the next chapter in my life 🙂