Personally

So after crying all of the weekend of my first week of my second semester at grad school (that was a run on sentence), I decided something had to change. There are things that are normal, and things that are not. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed during the first week of classes. It is not normal however, to let the overwhelming affects spew into the lives of your significant other and family.

So I asked myself what was wrong. I only started feeling the way I did during my “Mental Health” class. They were talking about anxiety, depression, and being medicated and I felt-

AHA! Bingo! So that was the culprit! That one class was what was making me feel the way I did. I had taken that class because I needed an elective, and I loved the Professor.

However, that class wasn’t for me. I e-mailed my advisor right away. I was nervous. In undergrad, it was so easy to drop classes and replace them. You could do it by yourself in less than a minute on your computer.

Grad-school, it’s different. You need the approval of your advisor, your registrar, your professor, and more people.

So I was nervous.

But at last, when the meeting with the advisor and registrar came, they were very nice about it!

“It’s understandable. That class does cover some heavy topics”.

“So what should I tell my professor?”

“Just tell her what you told us. It is your money and your education- you deserve to do whatever you like. Especially since this class is not required. In fact, we can call her if you’d like”.

Wow, that was nice of them. But this professor was so nice to me, the least I could do is tell her myself.

So I walked on over to her office, and I did.

“I love you. And I love mental health. But right now, when I’m on Academic Warning- I don’t think I should be in a class that makes me so uncomfortable” I said.

Although she was a teensy bit offended, she was also very understanding.

Phew. I replaced the class with a class called “Preventing Domestic Violence”.

“Are you sure you want to do that one? That class also covers some pretty heavy topics” my advisor says.

“I think I’m ready for this one” I said.

And so I went to that class, and I LOVED it! I’m thinking about switching my concentration in Mental Health to Women and Children’s Health.

My advisor was very happy to hear it and made all the corrections to my schedule.

Also the TA from that class, adores me!

I was standing at an event all by myself. And I spotted her, and tried to hide, but she came up to me and said- “Hey! You’re Shahz right?”

“Yes” I said quietly.

“OH MY GOD! You’re my student! Come and meet all my friends!” she introduced me to all her friends.

I started talking to her about class and she said, “Enough about that. Let’s be friends in real life!” and added me on Facebook :0

Wow. Thank GOD I followed my gut and switched classes. I love the topic, Professor, and TA.

Although the rest of my classes are challenging, it’s not anywhere near as uncomfortable as the Mental Health one and I believe in myself.

“K” was pretty off during the week, I didn’t get to see him, but we’re both busy.

In  politics, things have been crazy because Trump signed an order banning refugees from 7 countries. As someone who has worked with refugees and as the daughter of two immigrants, I’m hurt.

Everything this past week, just got so personal.

xoxo. S.

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