On New Year’s Eve, I sent all my good friends a message about how they made me smile over the year. “Prince Player” did not respond. But “K” did.
It was sad that “Prince Player” and I haven’t talked in a long time. But a few days later. I understood why.
My phone buzzes in the morning. The first message is from player. “OMG” it says.
Next message is from my advisor.
Next one is from an interviewer I really wanted a job from.
All important. I decided to go with “Prince Player’s” first. I know what the other two are anyway. I respond “What lol?”
For him to say “OMG”. After a long time without talking to me. And early in the morning. Something must be up.
I feel adrenaline in me. What could it be? I close my eyes and imagine possible scenarios.
OMG. I found really cheap tickets to Boston and I’m going to come visit you!
OMG. I had the craziest dream about you!
OMG. I’ve been missing you lately and-
My third scenario is interrupted by his next message. I quickly side to see the message.
I exhale. It was something about his new girlfriend. Of course.
I respond. He doesn’t. Oh well.
I look at the message from my advisor. “Your GPA has fallen below 3.0….”
I close my eyes. I want to cry. I never thought grad school would be so tough.
The next one is from the interviewer. “We regret to inform you…”
Usually when “Prince Player” doesn’t respond, I’ll send a follow up- but this time, I just couldn’t. Too much was happening.
Before I went too crazy, I see a video-call from “K” coming in. I message him and tell him I can’t talk at the moment.
“It’s okay. I was just missing you. Come back already” he responds.
I close my eyes. I think about everything going on. And everything that’s happened.
I call Mr. Photography dude. I’ve been neglecting all my friends since grad school sadly. We catch up on our love lives, school, and work.
“What have I always told you Shahz?” he asks.
“That I deserve better?”
“Yes but that’s not what I’m thinking of he says.
I said. You are not everyone’s cup of tea.”
“Stop laughing. I’m being serious. You. You glow, you spread joy, you do all these things. And so many people love you. But there are some people in this world, that just won’t love you as much as you love them. You are not everyone’s cup of tea, and that is fine. Because for every person that does not love you like that, there will be someone that loves you so fiercely”.
“And that’s my last pep-talk for you. If I ever hear player’s name again while you’re seeing ‘K’. I swear Shahz-”
I laugh “Okay okay. I just. Reminisce. That’s all”.
“Remember the other thing I said? If it was meant to happen, it would have” he says.
I sigh. “So I was meant to fall below a 3.0 GPA this semester?”
“Yes” he says. “You clearly didn’t understand what you learned in some classes. Retake them. Learn them better. And you know, you’ll get the grades you deserve. Some people require longer time to learn things, and uh…that’s you. And that’s fine. It happened to you multiple times in undergrad, and you survived!” he says.
“And what about that job?”
He laughs. “Oh my god. We’ve been through this many times before too! Somehow, you get rejected to the most jobs, and you keep trying and you get the best job out of all of us! So just keep applying to other ones. Something will come around.”
I smile sadly.
“I miss you.”
“I miss you too” he says. “Things aren’t the same here. But do what you gotta do in Boston. You always wanted this. And you never quit. So don’t start now!”
I really hope Boston becomes my cup of tea.
I really hope I become all my Professor’s cup of tea.
I really hope I become employers cup of tea.
The analogy is really making me want some tea before I go back to school tomorrow :0