Closer

Last week was a rough week. With having a cold and my first ever grad school midterms- my anxiety was high. After midterms ended, I thought it was time to reach out to “K”. I know what everyone told me, but I also know the relationship between me and “K” is getting stronger and there is something there.

Friday:

I tell “K” I understand our last meeting was a little too much. We learned about our differences, but we shouldn’t let it stop us- we should use those differences to empower each other. Also, I understand he is going through a lot, but when we first met he told me he needed someone to fall back on when things get rough. And he is not doing that right now. And he should. And that I know he’s going on his business trip to Cancun so I’ll just leave it at that.

He responds almost immediately.

“I cancelled the Cancun trip Shahz. Things have been too rough”.

Oh.

He says he will come up later in the night. That he doesn’t know how to deal with the things going on in his life right now.

I tell him we will discuss.

A few hours after class, he shows up. With wine.

I laugh and pour us both a glass.

“I’m not moving to San Fransisco” he says.

My eyes widen. I try to hide the smile on my face as best as I can.

“Oh. I’m so sorry dear. I know how much that meant to you” I say.

“Don’t be. It wasn’t meant to be” he says.

We take a sip of our wine.

“So…what’s going on?” I ask.

He rubs his eyes. “This is the first time in my life I’m having mental breakdowns. I don’t know if I need drugs or therapy.”.

“Uh huh okay. Why don’t you do the latter?”

He shakes his head. “No Shahz. I tried that before it’s not working. Look we won’t discuss this. This is why I didn’t want to tell you”.

Okay. He needs space. Point taken.

“Okay well uh. We should probably discuss some of the stuff that happened last week. We had some…uh intense discussions”.

“K” raises his eyebrows and nods.

I take a deep breath. “When I said it looks like we’re becoming serious, and you said that means we should become more intimate… that made me upset. Because we just met. And before we started dating, I said I don’t do that. Yet. So I was just like-” I begin.

“You were probably like ‘what the fuck'” K says finishing my sentence.

“Exactly!” I say laughing.

“Yea. You’re right. I’m sorry.”

He takes my hands in his. “I won’t bring it up anymore. When you want to talk about it, then you bring it up and we will discuss it. Okay?”

I smile. “Okay”.

We both take another sip of our wine.

“I’m sorry I didn’t finish my beer last week….” I say going onto the next one.

He puts his arm around me. “Hey no. Don’t worry about that.”

Okay good. Last one.

“And then. You… You said that thing about Cancun. You asked me if I was worried about you being surrounded by all those  women”

He doesn’t even laugh and looks serious.

“Shahz. That was a joke. I would NEVER do that to you. Ever” he says.

And with that, I smile.

“K” is no “Prince Player” or “Heart”, “K” is serious about me.

So now that we cleared the air, we can get on with our night. Which consists of me being very drunk.

“K” laughs. “Okay Shahz I’m going to go…”

I hold on to him. “Oh my god nooooo stay” I say.

“No Shahz. You’re drunk. I’ll come back tomorrow and take you out okay?” he says as he tucks me into bed.

I giggle. I never had a guy tuck me in before.

“Okay so when should I text you to make sure you don’t flake?” I ask laughing.

He rolls his eyes. “I won’t flake. I’ll call you in the morning.” I laugh.

He turns off my lights and leaves.

Saturday:

Sure enough. “K” calls me in the morning.

“Had a fun night last night Shahz?” he asks.

I rub my eyes and smile. “Yea.”

“Well. Are you ready for more?” he asks.

I laugh. “YES!” I say excitedly.

“Okay I’ll be there at 7.”

Great. So I run some errands. When I’m done, I shower and do my makeup. I put on my cute pink dress.

Later I hear a knock on my door.

“K” takes in a breath. “Wow you look amazing”.

He says more comments about how beautiful I am and asks where I want to go.

“Hmmm how about the Cheesecake Factory?” I ask.

“Blech. Pick another one.”

I laugh. “My dad has the same reaction”.

When we start debating about places, he finally says, “let’s just go to the Cheesecake Factory”.

As we walk out we see so many people in costumes.

“I got invited to so many Halloween parties tonight, K” I say.

He puts his arm around me. “I’m too old for that shit” he says.

I smile. Ah. someone like me.

When we arrive at the Cheesecake Factory, it is packed. We both agree we don’t want to wait. So we agree to go to the restaurant closest to it.

Which is. P.F Changs- the same place we had our first date at.

“I guess this will be our ‘go-to’ place” K says laughing.

When we arrive there we eat and talk more about ourselves.

He says another thing that my dad would say and I tell him, “My dad feels the same way!”

“You keep comparing me to your dad. It’s like you have daddy issues or something” he says.

I tilt my head and look at him. “You know I do”.

He holds my hand. “I’m not him Shahz”.

I sigh. “Okay”.

After we’re done eating I walk in front of him and I catch him standing still and staring.

“What?” I ask.

“Nothing. You just look so beautiful from here” he says.

I laugh and hold his hand.

When we walk to the car, I mention something about being together.

“Whoa Shahz” he says.

“What?” I ask.

“We’re taking this slow remember?” he says.

“But. But. You just called me your girlfriend and you are my….”

“Yea I’m your boyfriend” he says taking out a cigarette.

Oh. Oh ❤

“Yea okay then what’s the problem?” I ask.

“We’ve known each other for like two weeks. Let’s not use that term yet okay?”

Okay fair enough. I smile.

In the car. “Lay me down” by Sam Smith plays.

“Oh this is my favorite song” I say.

“K” laughs. “Everything is your favorite song” he says.

It’s true.

When we get out and walk to my place he puts his arm around my waist and kisses me on the cheek in front of everyone walking by.

I smile and blush.

“What” he asks looking into my eyes as we wait to walk across the street.

“So baby pull me closer in the back seat of your rover” I say singing my favorite Chainsmokers song.

He laughs out loud. “Oh my god. You know I actually did have a Range Rover.”

I laugh. “That’s my favorite song!”

He shakes his head. “EVERYTHING is your favorite song” he says again.

“You kissed me when that song came on and it was playing all week everywhere I went” I say.

“Oh. I’m sorry boo” he says smiling.

Yea right. So he made up for everything.

We continued talking throughout the week. And on Tuesday, I was shocked to get a phone call from him. Why was he calling?

“I just thought, we haven’t talked in a while and I wanted to talk to you”he says.

I smile. We talked in person on Saturday. And we had texted the day before. And he already misses me ❤

“I miss you girl” he says as if he read my mind.

I smile.

“Hey. I have this wedding in Canada in a few weeks. If you’re free, you should be my date.”

My jaw drops. Holy. Shit. CANADA? CANADA? Are you listening Paul?

Wow. I think it is way too soon for an international trip with him.

We’re getting closer.

“I mean I don’t even know yet what I got going on that week so I may not even go, but just wanted to throw it out there”.

Okay then.

Closer.

xoxo. S.

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