After I took my last final on Thursday, I was kind of happy. It felt so amazing to have officially finished undergrad. And then I got sad. I had so many more goodbyes to make. And some people, I could only see them once before I leave because of our hectic finals and graduation week.
When I realize I’m only going to see Harris, “Heart”, and “Prince Player” once (if I get to see them at all) before I go, I get really sad. Why were we all so busy 😦
So I mope with my friends still working on their finals. I play NSync and Mr. Photography dude takes my phone.
He types my passcode.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Texting Harris and “Heart”. I try to snatch it back.
“No!!” I say.
“Shhh you were going to do it anyway”.
I let him type out a message and read it before we send it. “Hi! Hope finals are going well. Next Tuesday will be my last day in Chicago as I am graduating and moving to Boston for grad school! Let me know if you’re free within the next few days. Peace, xo- Shaz”.
I laugh at how he knows exactly how I write and send. Harris responds immediately saying he will be out of town for a show, but will come back early to say goodbye ❤ And then “Heart”.
I stop playing NSync as his texts come in. Seriously I get 4 texts from him.
“Omg Shahz!!What school?”
“I’m so happy for you!!”
“Ramadan Kareem <3”
“Inshallah we find a day to see each other :)”
I smile. It’s honestly the little things. I don’t know what it is but the way “Heart” communicates with me makes me smile.
I don’t text “Prince Player” because we already talked a few days before when he said he fell behind in his finals and we have our graduation coming is so he must be stressed.
So I sigh and go to bed.
The next day, I had been invited to a graduating student leader ceremony. I had been looking forward to this for weeks, I wanted to know what award I was nominated for.
I invited my brother because my parents were on a flight, and I wish my parents could have been there because, not only was I nominated- I won!!!
I won an Outstanding Leader award. I have a beautiful plaque with my name on it. I almost cried when the announced my name.
They said a paragraph of my deep passion for helping others, sharing my vulnerabilities and creating safe spaces for students and introduced me and my award as “Please welcome gifted teacher and servant leader…”.
And the crowd erupted in applause! My brother was the loudest. It was honestly the best part of graduation weekend.
I guess it was after I won that award it really hit me. I’m leaving the place that gave me so many oppurtunities to be me.
My parents were extremely proud ❤
And then, Saturday flew by quickly and Sunday came. Ah graduation day.
Mmmm what a day.
First off, graduation was at 7 in the morning. I spent so much time on my hair and makeup that I didn’t eat breakfast. So when I say through graduation for four hours, I felt so sick to my stomach. When I got up on stage to get my diploma, I felt like I was going to faint. Eep!
Oh and, the name reader pronounced my name wrong (they were horrible, they pronounced a lot of names wrong). But hey, it was my moment. I worked hard for this! So what did I do? I laughed it off, accepted my diploma, and blew a giant kiss at my parents. Oh how much I wanted to do a little dance….
Then I walked back to my seat. I smiled so hard. I did it!
As graduation ended, we took some pictures and went out to celebrate. Once we got back to the hotel, I passed out and so did my family. They left today and after I returned to my dorm- I cried a little.
This is sad. Not because I’m leaving college, but because I’m leaving Chicago too. On the front page of the Graduation program, it had a list of all the seniors who won special awards-mine was on there. And I cried thinking about all the things I accomplished and all the people that were there for me.
I’m not sure how you’re supposed to feel after graduation. Because I’m going to get my masters and go on for more schooling, it doesn’t feel too bad. But because it’s my last day in Chicago- oh I’m sad.