“Hey I know you’re supposed to hang out with player or whatever, but I really need you’re help with Chem!” Sidekick says as soon as I answer my phone that I’ve been avoiding.
I sigh. “Just come. We’re not hanging out tonight”.
I have been unhappy for the longest time in my life. But lately, I’ve actually been happy. And then I see the stuff going on around me and I wonder how I can possibly be happy at a time like this. Such as the fact my best friend Sam had a seizure the other day and had to be rushed to the hospital. And then yesterday my other best friend Yasmeen was in a car accident. And then today. Today and yesterday I’ve been feeling extremely sick. Not like a cold or anything, but just a migraine and stomachache that won’t seem to fade.
But also today, was supposed to be mine and Prince Player’s day. I prayed he would remember as I have about 35 goodbyes to make this week (I’m not kidding). I lined them up all on my bulletin board so I would remember. But I also wasn’t feeling well, so I didn’t think drinking would be the best idea. Still it would be nice to see him I thought.
When he hasn’t texted about our plans, I feel hurt. I tell myself if he really wanted to see me, he would. If last week meant anything to him, he would have spoken to me this past week and be here with me. I quickly shrug it off. It’s finals and graduation week, player is busy like me. I play some Adele. Oooo wrong choice. I get sad again and realize this is my last week. And I’m leaving is less days than I count on my two hands. And I’ll never see him again. I have to see him as much as I can before I go. I remember what Prince Player said about how I never tell him how I feel.
So I go for it and ask him if we are still down for the night.
As I wait for a response, I finish one final and hear my phone buzz.
“Here’s the thing….” Player has responded.
Oh Christ. Really.
So that’s when I tell Sidekick he can come over. As I wait I feel hurt, broken, and wonder to myself if I ever mattered to Player. I deserve to be with a guy like Harris who will stay by me at his own sold out concert when he is surrounded my a billion girls. I deserve to be with a guy like Heart who keeps his word when he sets a date with me. I deserve-
In the middle of my thoughts Sidekick arrives. Mr. Photography dude has decided to join too.
“Thank god you’re not hanging out with player. This one knows shit for his final” Mr. Photography dude says.
I smile sympathetically at Sidekick. “Why are you taking Chem anyway?”
“I needed a lab science credit” Sidekick says.
I roll my eyes and take a look at his review packet. There are so many easier classes he could have taken for that.
“You seem to be taking this Player thing so well” Mr. Photography dude says watching me help Sidekick.
Wow can’t he tell I’m dying inside.
“I’m not feeling well. Shut up fool” I say.
“Ooo you must be still hungover from Harris’s show.”
I suck in my cheeks. “Definitely not” I say.
“Well then. You must have developed feelings for him.”
My jaw drops and I turn to him.
“Oh my god I’m kidding! A lot of people just asked me today if you guys were together!” he says.
What. “Why?” I ask.
Sidekick laughs. “Even I thought you guys were dating by the looks of those snaps you posted at his show”.
“Yea I screenshoted them!” Mr. Photography dude says showing me a few I posted.
Wow. We look…close. And why did I not get a notification he screenshoted??
I sigh. “It’s too late guys, I’m moving” I say resting my chin in my hands.
“So you do like him” Mr. Photography dude says.
I’m about to yell at him when I see him reach for my phone. I try to grab it, “What are you doing??” I ask.
“I’m going to text Harris asking if he wants to go out before you leave. ‘Hey habibti. Great show Friday! I’m feeling-” Mr. Photography dude says and begins typing on my phone.
I yank it out of his hands and I get a text at that moment. It’s player. He says he had something unfortunate happen this past week and fell behind on finals.
I sit down.
My heart aches for him. I hope he’s okay. At the same time I’m hurt. Why couldn’t he just tell me? Why doesn’t he trust me enough to share these things with me…
“Stop being a diva you don’t tell him serious things either” Mr. photography dude says helping himself to my Lindor truffles.
I take it away from him. “Yes I do”.
“Did you tell him why you can’t stay in Chicago over the Summer?” he asks.
I look him in the eye and cross my arms. “That is extremely serious” I say.
“Maybe his thing is extremely serious too”.
I panic. Why is this all happening during the happiest time of my life.
“Okay hey, relax. When’s your last final?” Mr. Photography dude asks siting next to me.
“Thursday morning” I say.
“Okay and you leave next Wednesday morning right?” he asks.
I nod. “Okay. So maybe you can see him on Thursday night and Monday or Tuesday night” he says.
I put a Lindor truffle in my mouth and grab his arm. “Undo my sad” I say quoting our favorite song.
He laughs. “How many times do I have to tell you. I can’t undo your sad only you can undo your sad”.
I call my mom. She tells me she saw the video of Harris performing and gushes about how she loves his voice.
We all begin laughing.
I think Harrris is the first guy my mom approved. I send Harris a message.
“Awwww” he says.
I just want to be as happy as I was Friday night when I was watching Harris perform.