I’ll be damned. I look back, player is so far from me. He waves. I tell myself to run, but my legs won’t move. I try to stay still but that makes me feel even more sick and cold so I walk to him.
“You could have just stayed there” he says when I reach him. I look at him and turn my face. And then I look at him again.
He smiles. “I just saw you walking alone…and I thought I would walk you home”. I laugh to myself. Oh player. He hasn’t forgotten ❤
I stay quiet. But he won’t stop mumbling. “We don’t have to talk” he says. I laugh. Okay point taken.
“How was night class?” I finally ask. Player’s a grad student now. So ahead of me.
He mumbles about how it sucks and what not. I nod.
He asks me what the whole world has been asking me, if I’ve decided where I want to go to school yet.
I do a double take.”How did you know I got in?” I ask him. “I didn’t tell you that…”
“I saw it on your snapchat story. Where you tell the whole world about your life” he says.
I laugh and tell him about how I’m trying to be Snapchat famous. Then my phone rings. Oh not now. Why. Why now.
It’s Kam. My event planner. I don’t like my event planners, they rely on me for everything. Kam tells me about the 100 things I need to get done and how he needs my help with paperwork. I tell him he needs to give me time because it was almost midnight and “I won’t be here tomorrow”. And I also hint to him that I can’t talk to him at the moment because *ahem* I was enjoying my walk with player. But he doesn’t take the hint. I sigh. How do all these women politicians handle it. Finally we hang up.
“Sorry” I tell player.
“You’re so popular!” he says. I look at him and laugh. Yea no.
When we finally reach my place, Player stops. “Okay so it was nice walking you home…”
I give him a look. “So you don’t want to talk?” I ask getting close. Oh I will regret this later. Player shrugs, “Yea. We can just catch up”. I smile. Why am I doing this. Player just had a 14 hour day and I have to be at 4 in the morning the next day for my flight. I have no self-control.
But we agree that we do want to talk. All my roommates are sleeping (especially the one who is a very light sleeper) so I tell him we have to quiet.
“So where you going tomorrow?” Player whispers once we’re settled.
“Boston” I whisper looking down.
Player asks me about all the schools I got into and where I would want to go if money and stuff didn’t matter.
“BU” I whisper smiling. “But I’ve already got like a $100,000 in debt and that’s already hard enough” I say sadly.
“Me too” he says. “But we’re life long learners” he says comforting me.
We smile at each other. I cross my arms and look down.
As our casual small talk winds down, player finally addresses what I’ve been wondering about.
“So…I thought about everything I said last time. And I just wanted to say. I didn’t mean it” he whispers.
My eyes widen. What. No way. He didn’t mean to say that I was a “joke”to him…He didn’t mean to say that I was only a “booty call”…He didn’t mean to say that a girl from his class texted him while we were hanging out and he likes her?
No way. How could someone make up something like that.
“Do you forgive me?” he says looking at me.
I nod. Only because I’m leaving soon and we still haven’t had the great year I pictured. I tell him.
“What is happening? This was supposed to be our year. But all we do is fight and make up” I whisper.
We continue standing close to each other. Player doesn’t say anything.
“I’m leaving in June (or August) and I’m not coming back” I say.
“Wow. Now you’re making me really sad” he says.
“It’s the truth. I have to leave this place” I say.
“Why? Because of all the heartache?” Player asks. I look at him. How does he know these things. I nod.
“But you’re like a woman. You can handle these things!” Player says. I laugh. He’s just so weird and funny sometimes.
“Okay. So I’ll leave now. But I can see you before you leave right?” he says gathering his stuff randomly.
Wait what. Where is he going? I know he doesn’t want to leave…
“Do you really want to leave?” I say looking at him.
He looks at me back. “No” he says. Finally, he hugs me and I hug him.
And finally we are so close. Close as we’ll ever be. “I’m sorry this wasn’t our year” he whispers.
I look at him and smile sadly.
“Wait” I whisper in his ear.
“What?” he asks smiling.
“That’s what you texted me. You ignore me for a month and don’t even look at me at the meeting. And then you end up here” I say caressing his beard.
“Because you’re an addiction” he says getting close to me.
My eyes widen. Praise. God. Finally, he has admitted it.
I turn to him.
“You’re an addiction too”.
Sometimes I wonder if player and I purposely fight so we can make up. Because it is so nice when we make up.