All of the end of  college celebrations have began for all the organizations I have been apart of here at school. The first one was this Thursday. For that one player and I are in together.

It was all going great until I got back a note I wrote to myself two years ago. A question asked, “What is a mistake you made this past year and learned from?”

I had written….Pumpkin Pies.

I squinted my eyes. “What on earth could that possible mean?” My heart raced when I realized.

“Prince Player”. Oh hell. I remembered. I took his initials and made a wacky phrase just in case someone ever read that letter- I didn’t want anyone to know what (or in this case) who it was!

It made me sad. I don’t really consider player a mistake. Well sometimes. I don’t know really. I don’t have time to think about it because pretty soon- I’m face to face with him.

He ignores me. And ignores me. I’m so crushed. He doesn’t even make eye contact with me. So I walk away and mingle with friends, excited to go to Boston the next morning for my interview.

In the middle my phone is blowing up with texts from my executive board. I just had a planning meeting with them for our own end of the year celebration and I really don’t want to deal.

I had been feeling sick to my stomach all day and had a headache since the meetings began. I cheated a lot and ate so much gluten this week so I think that’s why. But it could have also been nerves for my interview in Boston.

As I get water to calm my sickness, the student of my student’s student (yea we have a generation going on here) comes up and asks me if I’m Shahz. I say yes. “I’M THE NEW MOMMA DUCK!” she says. I smile proudly. I hug her, “Congratulations and welcome to my family.”

Remember I said I TA’d the class required for my scholarship and my students felt like ducklings to me so I called myself Mama Duck? Yea…this one is taking over my role. And it made me so proud that an enthusiastic and compassionate woman like me is doing it<3 I tell her we will have to get coffee sometime since I really feel unwell at the moment. She agrees and I go to get more water.

I see player, but he ignores me again. I debate saying something when the volunteer coordinator for my service group stops me. “Oh hey. You look pretty! Don’t see you ever dressed up like that in front of the kids” she says nudging me.

I laugh. Seriously. I will miss all these people.

As soon as this meeting ends, I don’t even think about “Prince Player” and scramble out the door. It is so cold outside. I guess that’s how May in Chicago is. As I walk, I think about how this is the last meeting for mine and “Prince Player’s” organization…and I don’t have him to walk me home. I get sad. But I quickly shrug and remind myself about how I have to be in Boston early in the morning and how sick if I feel and I should rest up.

And then I reach the corner to turn to my apartment, and it really hits me that I don’t have player to walk me. Since freshmen year, he has always me most of the time and hung out index.jpgwith me. And this year- he walked me and hung out with me EVERY single time. I sigh. Damn, this was sad. But then I remember everything he said. And I turn to walk.

When all of a sudden. I get a text. I expect it to be someone on my board. My jaw drops when I see the name on my screen. Prince. Player.


No way. It can’t be.

I turn back.

There he is.

(to be continued)

xoxo. S.


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