One Month

And just like that, I have reached my last month of college. Holy shit. Where did my college experience go?!?

And yet. I still haven’t patched things up with player. “Heart” avoids me like I’m a drug. I still haven’t chose someone to take over my President role. And most importantly- I haven’t decided which grad school I want to go to!!!

My heart is telling me Boston. But is it worth…the debt :0

As I debate about it in my head earlier this week, I briefly chatted with player. I’m not joking.

“You did what?” Mr. Photography asks before class the next morning.

I roll my eyes. I responded to something player posted on ahem…our favorite way of communication…Snapchat.

And he responded back. “You’re always pretty. I’m jealous”.

I laugh to myself. And laugh. And laugh.

11348101_1201868809830282_587969285_nAnd tell him to shut up.

As much as I miss him saying it.

I am not. falling. for. that. again.

“Yes. They’re back at it” Sidekick says as if he won the lottery.

“Shhh he says that to every girl” I say patting him on the back.

“Yea” Mr. Photography dude says glaring at him. Then back at me.”How’s Heart?”

I smile. And smirk. It’s so weird. I have bumped into “Heart” several times this week! And each time, he smiles at me and looks away. God does he not know how crazy that drives me??? Oh I have so many things to tell him- but so many reasons not to.

“Heart never called me pretty. He would call me like cute or hot or beautiful” I tell them.

Mr. Photography dude laughs. “What is that not good enough for you? I know lots of guys that say you’re pretty. What makes player saying it so special?” he asks.

I whip my hair almost smacking him in the face. “He actually means it” I say.

“Oh is that so?” he asks pushing my hair back to the front.

I suck in my cheeks. “No. But it meant something to me” I say.

I don’t know why all the things up in the air just won’t come down already.

“I stopped eating dessert” I tell my Dad on the phone about how I’m saving up for Boston. I was spending way too much money on Cheetos and Chocolate anyways.

“Uh hun, I don’t think you need to do that. I mean I guess it’s good on a health standpoint. But I told you not to worry about the money. You get a full time job, your mother and I will help you with the rest” he says over the phone.

“Aw. See. Now that’s your dad I know” Mr. Photography dude says.

I smile. Yes. Sometimes my dad can be really awesome. Which is why I don’t want to move to Boston and be 5 hours away from him.

I have booked tickets to fly in and visit tomorrow so it will be a trial run on what I will experience next year if I chose this option :0

Oh I just can’t imagine what things will be like in one month. I really hope I have this all sorted out by graduation day.

xoxo. S.

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