And just like that, I have reached my last month of college. Holy shit. Where did my college experience go?!?
And yet. I still haven’t patched things up with player. “Heart” avoids me like I’m a drug. I still haven’t chose someone to take over my President role. And most importantly- I haven’t decided which grad school I want to go to!!!
My heart is telling me Boston. But is it worth…the debt :0
As I debate about it in my head earlier this week, I briefly chatted with player. I’m not joking.
“You did what?” Mr. Photography asks before class the next morning.
I roll my eyes. I responded to something player posted on ahem…our favorite way of communication…Snapchat.
And he responded back. “You’re always pretty. I’m jealous”.
I laugh to myself. And laugh. And laugh.
And tell him to shut up.
As much as I miss him saying it.
I am not. falling. for. that. again.
“Yes. They’re back at it” Sidekick says as if he won the lottery.
“Shhh he says that to every girl” I say patting him on the back.
“Yea” Mr. Photography dude says glaring at him. Then back at me.”How’s Heart?”
I smile. And smirk. It’s so weird. I have bumped into “Heart” several times this week! And each time, he smiles at me and looks away. God does he not know how crazy that drives me??? Oh I have so many things to tell him- but so many reasons not to.
“Heart never called me pretty. He would call me like cute or hot or beautiful” I tell them.
Mr. Photography dude laughs. “What is that not good enough for you? I know lots of guys that say you’re pretty. What makes player saying it so special?” he asks.
I whip my hair almost smacking him in the face. “He actually means it” I say.
“Oh is that so?” he asks pushing my hair back to the front.
I suck in my cheeks. “No. But it meant something to me” I say.
I don’t know why all the things up in the air just won’t come down already.
“I stopped eating dessert” I tell my Dad on the phone about how I’m saving up for Boston. I was spending way too much money on Cheetos and Chocolate anyways.
“Uh hun, I don’t think you need to do that. I mean I guess it’s good on a health standpoint. But I told you not to worry about the money. You get a full time job, your mother and I will help you with the rest” he says over the phone.
“Aw. See. Now that’s your dad I know” Mr. Photography dude says.
I smile. Yes. Sometimes my dad can be really awesome. Which is why I don’t want to move to Boston and be 5 hours away from him.
I have booked tickets to fly in and visit tomorrow so it will be a trial run on what I will experience next year if I chose this option :0
Oh I just can’t imagine what things will be like in one month. I really hope I have this all sorted out by graduation day.