It’s funny how things change drastically the second I publish a post. After publishing the last post, I bumped into “Prince Player” :0
And he was actually nice to me! It was our first encounter since that moment he told he liked another girl and he came over to see me so I could be his “last impulse”. I expected it to be awkward, but instead he sat next to me and started acknowledging me unlike last time. He asked me how I have been. I said I was good. I mean I was. I have been so down because my mother is in Qatar, and Mircrobio really stinks- but that day I was happy because I was leaving for Boston.
And then he offered me a piece of his orange. We both took a bite and made a face at each other.
“It’s so sour!!!!” I said laughing.
He agreed. Seriously, how could I continue hating player? :p He always shares with me.
Soon we were split into groups to present the rough draft of our senior project. Basically, a story about a change we experienced through our journey at college and how our program has helped us along the way. I obviously talked about my bump in the road with ADHD and anxiety freshman year (and all throughout college). Player presented his story first. He shared about how he had a video game addiction a while ago. Player told me before, but to hear it with our friends surrounding us and with more detail- I felt for him. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to help him. Because I remembered. His addiction was happening over the summer, when we talked more than we ever talked before. He would respond late to my messages because he was playing! Even before he told me, I already knew. My dad used to have a gaming addiction too. And the signs were so clear in player. When he was done, I felt all warm. I did not know he was such a good writer.
And then it was my turn. I hated reading my story. I never like telling it. I consider it the “ugly” part of me. But, people need to know and history needs to be re-written.
“Okay I’m done” I said when I was finished. I looked down
Everyone was smiling at me, including player. It was uncomfortable because player already knows what I have been through and he had the most critiques for me. I smiled as he critiqued me. Because. I thought about how much he and I have grown since that time in my life.
After it was over, I started slowly walking back home. I wanted player, but I know he doesn’t like me the way I like him- so I just walk alone. I also wasn’t anxious like I was at the last meeting, and neither was he. Which is why I was not surprised when he called out after me.
“Are you walking home?” he asks. I smile at him, “Yea”. He smiles back, “I’ll walk you.”
I laugh. “Aren’t you gonna walk me home?” he says in a girly voice mocking the way I asked him to walk me home two months ago in About Last Week….
I laugh and shake my head, “I didn’t ask this time because I knew you would judge me!”
He suggests we hang out. I smile. In my head, I don’t think it’s a great idea considering what he shared with me last time. But if he’s asking me, it means things didn’t go right with his other girl. And, I was leaving for Boston in a few hours anyway, so I wouldn’t need to see him for a long time (not that I didn’t want to, he never wants to hang out for long). So it all worked out for both of us.
As we talk, I see I have a missed call from Harris (President of my club, “Heart’s” best friend. I talk to him about logistics for the trip. The politics continues as he shares with me some information I did not know. I am so upset but player is there so I try to keep my cool. “You’re so loud!” player says. My jaw drops, “Shhhh!!!!” I mouth. Does he not get I’m on the phone with “Heart’s” best friend. And does he not know us Arabs talk loud :0 Finally, I am done. And it’s time to hang out with player.
Everything went well. Player was so caring. Way too caring.
“What happened to your other girl?” I ask lifting my chin.
He looks me dead in the eye. “Don’t worry about her” he says.
Ohhhhhhh. Something is not right here.
“We’re not talking” he says.
“Yea you know I’m with you because it’s the only thing I can get”.
I sit stone cold. What. How rude can he be. But then, I slowly realize, he didn’t mean it like that. And quite honestly, I feel the same way about him. Yes, I have “Heart” but he doesn’t get me like he used to.
Player continues makes a few more insensitive comments, particularly about his interest in other women, but that’s just player. I laugh it off and he tells me to send him pictures while I’m in Boston. I tell him I will and I am happy when he leaves. For once I wasn’t crying. Now I didn’t have to worry about that during the trip, and “Heart” had been good lately too so I didn’t have to worry about that either.
But still. Neither of the happiness both of them gave me could prepare for all the drama I was about to encounter on my trip. It was, just like I predicted, nothing but politics.