I can’t believe it. I’m done! My first ever internship has officially been done since Friday night.
Friday was…difficult. The first and last day of the session is always the toughest. As predicted, my co-workers and supervisor were so crabby and rude. But at last, the day was over and I tore off my badge. It was time to celebrate! I went out with some RA’s and TA’s from the other residence halls. We had a great time. After I got back I immediately started packing. Surprisingly, it only took 3 hours (that is a record for me!) When I was done, I couldn’t help but feel so empty.
I survived. After many of my co-workers quit the program, I stuck around and made it ❤ I sacrificed time with my loved ones, my health, and so much more for this. I started to feel anxious. I messaged “Prince Player” as I’ve been doing before I go to sleep at night. He messaged me back and…well…we stayed up all night talking. Literally. When we said goodnight I think it was 6 am and I had to leave for my flight in an hour!
I’m not sure how that ended up happening…but I’m glad it did. As we were exchanging messages, I would cry into my pillow thinking of how I kind of wish I didn’t do this internship so I could have had more time with my family and time for myself. These past few weeks were so hard. And then, I realized I was being silly because…hello…that is what a job is!!! You have to learn how to balance family, self-care, lovers, and your work life 🙂 I guess I was also crying because hell- an ADHD and anxiety stricken girl completed an internship at one of the best universities in the country and I was proud of myself ❤ So I continued messaging player and wiping my tears away.
Needless to say, I slept the entire plane ride to Texas. When I finally landed, my mom was waiting for me at the airport. We hugged each other and she told me I looked exhausted. Oh I felt it. It’s been hard trying to be…normal again. Aside from spending time with my family, all I have been doing since I have hopped off the plane is sleeping and eating (the two things I found hard to do while at my internship). My temporary home in Texas is cute, but small. I’ve been going house hunting with my family every other day.
No matter how exhausted I am, I still try to send “Prince Player” a message before I go to bed. The day I landed, I decided not to on account of our conversation the night before, he must have had enough of me :0 BIG MISTAKE. I have wild dreams of me kissing him and then HIM pulling me back for another kiss.
As if that’s not enough. I have another dream that I am having an orgasm with some other dude!
“Was it Heart?” Mr. Photography dude asks laughing the next morning when I give him updates.
“Not even!!!!” I respond.
We google what it could possibly mean and we found a source that said it just means I am currently “Experiencing an exciting end” to something.
We laugh out loud. How could I not have known? The internship 😉
So these past few days, before I have to see “Prince Player” or really some other dude’s face in my dreams, I decide to continue to message player before I sleep. No responses.
So last night, as I waited to see if I would get a response from “Prince Player”, I hear my phone buzz and I get excited. When I check my phone, it is “Heart”.
You have got to be kidding me. I have worked all summer on trying to get over him just like he asked me too. It’s not worth it.
So I tell him “not tonight”. And fall asleep wondering if player will respond.
But he doesn’t.
“I should of just talked to ‘Heart’ last night” I say to Mr. Photography dude today morning sadly.
He laughs to himself. “You’re silly. You just finished a 7 week long 18 hours a day/7 days a week internship and all you can worry about is two bastards. CHILL! And catch up on your sleep, you still look tired.”
He’s right. I need all the rest I can get.