There. I said it.
My worst nightmare has come true. I have become unfond of my internship of being an RA and TA at a highly prestigious university. This internship was my dream job, and now… not so much.
I’ve been hiding it from everyone around me. But last night, after I put all my kids to bed, I put myself to bed and I couldn’t stop crying.
I never get “alone” time. I am on my feet 6am to 11pm. And everyday, something terrible happens. A student in class will ask me a question I can’t answer, a student in the dorm will get mad at me for telling him/her to keep it down, oh and the worst- I will be asked to run an errand as I nap during my 30 minute daily break.
Today, right before I put my kids to bed, I got a few minutes to call my family. Even finding time to do that has become a challenge. Especially today when my supervisor asked me to run some medication to a dorm right before midnight. Uh, that wasn’t in my job description…
Anyways, I called them. And for the third day in a row, my mom asked if I liked my job.
Finally today, I flipped. “Mom. I don’t know many people who would like a job they had to work from 6am to 11pm. I teach class until 3:00. And then 3:00 to 11:00 I have to make and supervise all the students activities/study sessions. 7 days a week. Unless I get a day off. Which I only get every 3 weeks. Would you enjoy this?”
“I totally agree with you. I knew it!” she says. “Don’t do this summer job again next year. Just don’t.”
For once I agreed with her. Even “Heart” texted yesterday asking if I was free. Was I? No. By the time I texted back, he was busy and I was too sleepy. By the time I have time to call anyone at night, be it him, my friends, or my family- I’m so tired I can’t even think. I can’t even respond to what they’re saying. I’m falling asleep. They waited all day to talk to me….and I’m irritable?
That’s not how I want things to be 😦