“Oh my god! Mike! Why haven’t we hung out in so long?!” The petite freshman wraps her arms around a guy.
I smile to myself as I continue waiting line to get my dinner. I know that situation so well. I remember talking to “Prince Player” like that. And him having the same response as the guy she hugs- “Here’s the thing. Well there is nothing. I’ve just been busy!”
I shake my head and continue smiling. But I shake the thought out of my head when I realize I am distracting myself from what just happened in night class. I got the result for my midterm. I had other midterms but this was my hardest one. I am disappointed to say the least.
And the sad part is, I am disappointed in nothing but myself. I did this to myself. I haven’t done this poorly in an exam for a while now.
It’s one thing when I have worked so hard and studied so hard and then did bad on the exam. That is a disappointment.
But that’s not what happened for this exam.
I could have worked harder. I could have studied harder.
But I didn’t. I let myself become distracted by “Heart”, my job, and all of my performances. And that is the biggest disappointment of all. Knowing that if I had just studied an extra hour, maybe I wouldn’t have done so poorly. If I didn’t talk to “Heart” the day before, I would have done better. If I didn’t attend my three hour work meeting the day before, I would have done better. If I wasn’t spending so much time practicing for my 4 shows this quarter, I would have done better.
Better. Better. Better.
It’s comforting to know that all the students sitting around me got almost the same score I did. But disappointing to know what I could have and should have done.
Whatever it is. I can’t give up now! I have made it this far…