Yesterday wasn’t like the day before…my awesome performance!

Finally. SHOW’S OVER.

I woke up yesterday, anxious, sweating, very jittery. I could not take my daily nap because I was pacing and nervous for the show. Of course, my partner arrived an hour late to our practice rehearsal and we didn’t get much time to practice.

The second I walk in to the event, I see “Heart!” He says hi. I am so nervous about my performance I say a quick “hey” and I tell his best friend to open up a room for me to practice. An hour goes by and it’s still not time to perform although we were scheduled to…So I decide to go look for him. I don’t see him anywhere! I scan the room and I see a lot of my friends and students who have came to support me ❤ But not him.

Maybe he’s outside smoking I thought to myself.

But finally, another 30 minutes later…it’s time to perform. As I am performing, I continue looking. HE WAS NOT THERE! And then, the music gets cut. I stop dancing. WHAT??? That was my biggest fear! The president awkwardly comes up and says “Okay then” and starts clapping (too embarrassed to fix their technological issue). And then after a minute as I am walking off stage, they fix it and say, “Okay okay, let them finish their performance!” Cool. I’m sweaty and my body hurts so bad. Round 2. Still, it went good!

At least…that’s what everyone said. I thought I made a lot of mistakes…but from all the compliments I got, I guess I did well! All these random people and people who didn’t seem to mind me before were hugging me and complimenting me on an AMAZING show! And then, these group of male dancers stopped me and told me I did great…they asked me if I could give them a lesson sometime :0 I just laughed loudly. Another person asked me “Who in their right mind would miss your performance?” I laugh, I know someone. I wait and wait for “Heart” to show up.He never showed up.

After the event, my best friend and I decide to go get food at the student center. And who do we see, “Heart”. He is sitting with a few other girls, I know that activist group, it is full of his female friends. He says to my friend (not even me) that he had to leave the event right before it started because he was helping out with a protest.

What. HE WASN’T AT MY SHOW????? The one person I practiced so hard for!!!!! I was furious.

And why was he ignoring me? Jeez I even wore the dress that made him come back to me the last time when we had an argument. Wow. No luck.

I say, he was too intimated by my moves to come see me. Hey, if he was dancing the way I was dancing, I would be nervous to watch him too.

It’s weird. Before, I was praying that he wouldn’t come. But after such an amazing performance, I am really disappointed he wasn’t there to see it.

“It’s okay, I’m sure you will give him a private show later!” Mr. Photography dude says to comfort me.

I smack him.

No, he doesn’t deserve one.

xoxo. S.


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