After getting back from my coffee break with Mr. Photography dude, I wiped my eyes some more. Being with “Heart” is so damn difficult and I really feel frustrated with my love/hate relationship with “Prince Player”. Not to mention, that one best friend who bailed on our concert tickets still hasn’t paid me back…Plus, my one friend is forcing me to perform at her club’s annual end of the year event as soon as we get back from break, which of course…”Heart” will be the main photographer at (so I have to do well)! Also, I was really stressed about my final grades.
As I sit around wondering why my prayers keep getting ignored and the pressure keeps piling, I get an e-mail from the Office of Admissions at my school. Remember how I wanted to apply for the combined bachelor’s/master’s degree program at my school and my advisor said it’s too competitive and I’m not “eligible”…? Well, I applied anyway. AND I GOT ACCEPTED!!!!!! Eep! Here I was, getting harassed by people on what I hope to do with my life, shunned for my ADHD…and I rised!! ❤
I closed my laptop and cried. I called my mother first, I knew she would be happy. She almost started crying too. Then, she asked me how in the world we were going to tell my dad. Shit. My dad. Getting a Master’s after graduation was not in the plan we discussed prior to starting college…and in order for me to fund it, I need him. Crap! My mom and I discussed some possible strategies and we planned on what to say to him. I felt good. Although I had some unfinished business with all the stuff going on in Chicago, I suddenly had new business to take care of in Denver.
When I got to the airport, I called one of my good girlfriends, Z. I needed advice on whether or not I should share this on social media. I never post things unless it’s something big (like this) or inspiring (also like this). Z said I definitely should. She was so proud of me. She knows all about my anxiety/ADHD attacks and all the people that tried to discourage me from my dreams.
I asked her if I should post now, or after I tell my dad. And this…is where I realized why she is an amazing friend. “Shahz…I think you should announce it now. If you go home, and your dad says no…you’re gonna cry all night and you will never post it. Then no one will know that this girl that they thought would make it somewhere in life DID! Regardless of what he says, you got accepted and that in itself is a big deal! NOW GO GO GO! ANNOUNCE IT!”
She was right. And so, right before I got on the plane, I posted. Instantly I’m getting “likes”, texts, and several notifications! Thankfully, my flight had wi-fi and I was able to keep up 😉 Among the likes were both the men in my life (thank god, it shows they care about me), my students, my former teachers, and my friends.
So who didn’t “like” it or offer me their congrats? My brother and my good friend that bailed on our concert plans…Sigh. I knew they wouldn’t. My brother and I still have a ton of sibling rivalry going on, he was the one that my dad wanted to get the Master’s…not me. I wish he was happy for me. And my friend…what is wrong with her? I’m not the one that bailed on her and wasted her money!
As much as I wanted to be upset, I had bigger things to worry about. My heart was pounding when I saw my parents at the airport. When we got inside our car, I told them I had “very exciting news” to tell them. My mom pretended she didn’t know and listened. After I was done, I was shocked by my dad’s reaction. He yelled “CONGRATULATIONS!” and high fived me. Holy moly.
After a while, he revealed his true feelings and said he would like me to look at Ivy League’s if I really want to get a Master’s. And that he expects me to work and find ways to fund it at the same time. Oh brother…
Well. I’ve certainly got lots to think about. But I will worry about it after break 😉