Heart’s Usual Finals Fiaso Part 2 (I Have A Life Too)

waitingI walk into Starbucks in sunglasses. Once again, I made the first move in asking “Heart” for the third day in a row yesterday if he will be coming to say bye. Yesterday was my last full day here before leaving for Spring Break, I was hoping he would say yes.

I see Mr. Photography dude drinking his latte. I wasn’t expecting to see him here, but since he is, I go talk to him.

“Why are you wearing sunglasses in the winter?” he asks.

Winter’s over hun. But he’s right, it’s a little too chilly out to be wearing these. I take them off and stare at him.

He spits out half his coffee. “Holy shit. Have you been crying?!?”

“This asshole” I say.

“Which one” he asks.

“Heart” I say. Mr. Photography dude rolls his eyes. “Go figure. I’m guessing he didn’t come say bye?”

I nod. “Every single day this week, I broke my own rules and texted him first. I got desperate and weak. Each time, he said he might be able to make it- and cancelled last minute. I was always ready to drop my plans to spend time with him. WHAT THE HECK? I should not have to plan my whole life schedule around him!” I say.

“Can you please tell him that?” he asks.

“That’s the kind of shit that makes him break up with me” I say sadly.

“What the absolute fuck- Shahz? Leave him then! Don’t let anyone treat you like that! You have a life too” he says.

I rest my head on the table. “I know but I feel bad! Every time I tell him, he would remind me that he has a sick mom and he works two jobs and school and every day is a stressful day for him.”

He shakes his head. “And you know something. Every day is a big day for you too! You have a mental disorder/learning disability, you work, you take hard classes, you volunteer-”

I stop him. “I know okay?”

“Why are you still on his side?” he asks.

I’m about to explain when I swallow and it feels like I just swallowed a rock. “Oh my god.”

“What?” he asks.

My throat hurts in a way it never has before. “Do I have mono?”

“WHAT????” he asks laughing.

I explain my throat pain to him. I explain all the symptoms I learned as a Health Sciences major.

“If this bastard gave me mono, he’ll have something come for him!” I say.

“Okay calm down, it might be strep…or the flu…or it’s just stress.”

I feel my neck some more. Whatever it is, it doesn’t feel good. Suddenly, I’m not looking forward to my three hour flight home. Yikes.

xoxo. S.

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2 thoughts on “Heart’s Usual Finals Fiaso Part 2 (I Have A Life Too)

  1. I’ve missed ready your story. I’m going to try to catch up. I hope things are going better for you. life can sometimes throw you a few curve balls. the trick is when we learn to duck it took me awhile but your younger and wiser, I know you will get the hang of it. much happiness love joy and success to you.

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