Heart’s Usual Finals Fiasco

waiting

“Or maybe we should stop this before we get more feelings for each other”. Oh no you don’t, not this time!

I am officially done with all of my finals. There is just one last thing I need to check off on my to do list. “Heart”.

Every finals week, he pulls this stupid line. And when we get back from break, he gets his act together and comes back. He said this right after my first final on Monday, is he nuts…? I told him to be quiet and study for finals- we can discuss it later.

I know my man well by now. He gets afraid quickly.

And then he admits that he wants to become more intimate. Oh god, not this again. “We have been doing the same stuff for a while now and it’s getting boring :(” he says.  “Prince Player” used this line on me within 4 months of our relationship…I’m kind of happy it took “Heart” a year and a half to say this. It tells me that I have kept him happy for this long 🙂 But still, I have my boundaries and I don’t want him to cross those boundaries. Again I tell him that we will discuss it later and focus on his finals.

We plan for him to come say bye yesterday.

So yesterday- he texts saying he won’t be able to make it. Great. I had spent a lot of time doing my makeup and looking nice. I decided not to let it go to waste. I was planning on renewing my driver’s license later this week…but since I had some free time due to his cancellation, I decided to go. When I get to the DMV, I get a text saying he might be able to make it after all. Good grief. I’m making plans to go back home- but he texts that he actually won’t be able to make it. AHHH!!!! I wanted to scream.

The hard part is- I don’t know why he isn’t coming over. Is he busy or does he feel too attached to me? I don’t get why he is so afraid of being attached to me.

I shrug it off. Right now, I have priorities. One being that my license has expired. I go on over to the DMV and they get the process done very quickly. I love my new photo!!

And today, my last day. I wait and wait for him to text me. I finally give in, and remind him I have a flight back home tomorrow. He tells me that tomorrow is his hardest final and won’t be coming over to say bye after all 😦 Oh. My. God.

I am so tired. Why do I constantly plan my life around him?

xoxo. S.

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