The Good and The Bad: Finding Support In a Mad World

When I was a freshman, my main priority was to pass Bio (it did not happen). When I was a sophomore, my main priority was to make the Dean’s list (IT HAPPENED!)

And now: It’s all combined into one- Pass microbio, make Dean’s list, get an internship, do great on the GRE/MCAT

Some people make it way too hard to do this.

Exhibit A: My roommates (the bad)

I think my roommates who are sophomores are awesome. But they are so darn insensitive about my need to be alone! They like to hang out in the living room all day, I need my space and quiet so I stay in my room with my door shut. AND THEY HAVE A MAJOR PROBLEM WITH THAT. One time, a friend came over and he asked, “Isn’t Shahz so cool guys?” And one of them said, “Yea, if she would come out of her room”. I’ll be damned. ***I told this to Mr. Photography dude in my interview and he said “What the hell?” haha.

I’M NOT A SOPHOMORE ANYMORE FOR CHRIST’S SAKE! And then the same one told another friend of mine “It’s so strange, she is always in her room with her door shut. We don’t know if she’s sleeping or what.”

Slow down sister. I am sorry that I am so distracted by you and your bff roommate’s loud singing and your guy’s boyfriends that decide to come over every day. Yea maybe I am sleeping! But you know what else I’m doing? Homework, studying, practicing GRE flashcards, reading MCAT books, having an anxiety attack, watching a movie (if I even get a chance!) or hell- my ex-boyfriend. Yea. And unlike your guy’s boyfriends- he isn’t here everyday. You should be happy that I mind my own business and stay out of your way. One time, I left my door open to try and be more “open”- and it was like ADHD times ten thanks to your guy’s loud conversations. P.S- Enjoy Sophomore year while you can.

Exhibit B: My ex boyfriend (the good)

It’s times like this I miss “Heart” like crazy. When I first met him, he said ” I have social anxiety. I can’t study or do homework if someone is next to me. I actually like being alone a lot. Except when I’m with you of course.”  I had met my match ❤ He is just like me, he loves being by himself and will only open himself up to a few people. One time, I told him how I always wanted to be a doctor…but I have fallen in love with teaching over the years. And he told me that I can do both. He’s the reason why I’m going to take the GRE and see if I can get into a nice grad school! 🙂

Exhibit C: My best girl friend (the good)

Well she’s studying abroad right now. But she understands I have severe ADHD and keeps trying to convince me to get a studio apartment. She says she is the same way, she doesn’t come out of her room either, but unlike my roommates- her’s could care less!

Exhibit D: Random Haters (the bad)

peaches quote“She’s too thin”

“She’s too curvy”

“Her boobs are fake”

“She got a nose job”

“She has ADHD”

“She drinks a lot”

“She smokes a lot”

“She’s a party girl”

“She’s a whore”

Christ, any more? 90% of those things are false!The saddest part is, when I tell other people that this is ruining my confidence, they say “fake it till you make it”. No. Don’t ever say that. Why be fake when you can be real?

Exhibit E: My students (the good)

Every year, I ask students to evaluate me in their final papers. And their responses always make me cry:

“Most educators are not as amazing as you. I wish you the best of luck, I’m sure one day you will be the best professor that anyone will fight to have.”

“Your courage and fearlessness has pushed me to work hard. You will forever be an example to me”.

“The feeling of coming to your class is the same feeling we get when we eat pizza. Or finding out that we got a snow day! Because you always made everything fun. Some of us wanted to stay home and sleep all day, but we knew we’d get to see you in class so we showed up :)”

It’s all the good supporters that keep me sane. When my roommates make yet another comment about how I like staying in my room a lot, I remember how much my students love me and how my hard work will get me places one day. When someone says I got a nose job, I thank God for blessing me with such a naturally beautiful nose!

So. If you are a peach, continue to be a ripe and juicy peach!

xoxo. S.

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