The Interview: On the Men In My Life

IMG_1540Mr. Photography dude and I are having a good conversation so far. I dig into my pancakes more.

“So about Prince Player-” he begins. Wait what. Why does he get to be in my interview?

“How about no?” I ask sticking my fork in between my pancake.

Mr. Photography dude rolls his eyes, “Okay what is it now, Sad Beauty?”

I swallow. “I saw him yesterday”.

“I hope you were civil.”

I look at the floor, and then to the side. “Oh no. That look. She did something stupid” he says to Mr. Sidekick.

I sigh very loudly. “I didn’t do anything. That’s the thing. I just stood there.”

“Can you give us a moment?” he asks Mr. Sidekick.

He nods and goes to the restroom.

“What’s wrong with you? How could he make you so speechless?”

“Okay, okay, okay this is what happened. It’s been a crazy week, I haven’t seen him in two months, and we didn’t talk much over break. Last night, I was having very bad cramps and was very hormonal-”

“Sad beauty, TMI. Please hun” he says a little confused.

I laugh “No I mean, I was in that awful state of health and Jim (mine and Mr. Photography dude’s mutual friend) wanted to see me for dinner. I thought it would be nice because …yesterday was what would have been mine and Heart’s one year anniversary. Like our actual one, the day we had our first date. I was already feeling down, so I was eating ice cream with Jim and having a nice time. Then I went to buy some water. I freakin’ turn around and Prince Player is standing there very nicely dressed!!!!”

“And that made you speechless” Mr. Photography dude says laughing.

“No, no, no!” I say smacking him. “It wasn’t that. I just stood there and I was trying to say *Fancy seeing you here*. But then he just started saying a lot of things at once and hugged me. And it hurt. It was a tight hug, I had to gasp for air. It was fake. And quick. Just like our relationship.”

“Strong words Sad Beauty, strong words” he says laughing.

“Wait, wait, wait. I didn’t mean it like that. You know as usual, he was very busy and I just wanted 5 minutes to catch up with him and he barely gave me 1 minute. And then he said he’ll text me. Which I know he won’t.”

“And why is that Sad Beauty?”

“BECAUSE. He’s only saying that because he feels bad for me. He knows I’m a little nutcase.”

“Is it ever like this with Heart?”

“Kind of. But we’ll just say hi. He won’t say a bunch of stuff at once and leave me. Oh and he doesn’t even have to tell me he’ll text me, because he does text me and check up on me! But when I see Prince Player, it’s like a competition of who can care less.”

Mr. Photography dude rests his face in his hands.

“Oh and by the way, Jim told my I had lip gloss on my teeth. Prince Player always catches me when I have lip gloss on my teeth!!!”

Mr. Photography dude is laughing very hard now. “Oh my god. You are too much for me princess” he motions for Mr. Sidekick dude to join us again.

“Okay so apparently. Sad Beauty had an interaction with her player guy last night and it didn’t go well. Also she has PMS, so we must be sensitive” he says laughing to Mr. Sidekick.

I kick him under the table and give him a look.

“OW! Shahz!” he says grabbing his foot. I give him look and he reaches out for my hand, “Okay, okay sorry habibti. Let’s quickly get your take on Prince Player and we could move on to Heart, okay?”

I stick my tongue out at him. And he begins. “So how did you find out that he got with your friend?”

Well that was fast. I swallow. “I’m not sure. At first I just had a gut feeling. Because I would see him talking to her the way he used to talk to me. Actually, he seemed to care more about her. Like that one weekend I saw my dad toss the divorce papers at my mom and I was feeling miserable, and I came to school for an event and showed my brave face anyway, I heard him ask HER “is everything okay?” and they randomly disappeared for an hour. That’s the moment I knew. He cared more about her than he did about me. Because if he gave two shits about me, he would ask me if everything was okay”

I could feel the tears in my eyes but they don’t fall. Mr. Sidekick is scribbling everything fast, Mr. Photography dude motions for him to stop. “Don’t write that part” I hear him say.

“Continue” he says.

“Shortly after that, it was Summer and I didn’t see either of them for three months. Then school began and I was having a small party and…one of my friends told me. It was true. It was confirmed. Everyone around us knew. Except me. I felt stupid. I felt naive. I felt used. I felt humiliated-” suddenly I can’t speak. I take a deep breath and proceed. “I was a fool, every time I thought he was with her I would tell myself that I was just being paranoid and he would never do anything to hurt me. I also told myself that he is probably going through a lot as well. But hell, that’s no excuse. Because when I was losing 15 pounds, suffering from the horrible ADHD treatment, and trying to mend my broken family- I was still there for him. And he fucking chose her. It was the ultimate betrayal.”

When I look at Mr. Photography dude he has closed his eyes. His face is buried in his hands and I think he knows what I’m about to say next. So I continue.

“After I cried on the bathroom floor for 6 hours, I knew he wasn’t worth it. A true friend wouldn’t leave their friend for someone else when they are dealing with a crisis in their health, education, and family. So I told myself that if I was able to get through all of that without him, I’m sure as hell going to get through everything else without him.”

Mr. Photography dude and Mr. Sidekick are sitting in shock.

Mr. Photography dude’s eyes are red and he can barely speak. So I decide to give them one last piece of sass, “And you know what? I fucking did! I made the Dean’s list, I kicked ADHD’s behind….and fell in love… with someone else”

They look at each other and then at me, “Do you know what you just said, Sad Beauty?” Mr. Photography dude asks smiling.

I’m confused. “No….” I say.

“You just gave us a tagline to use for your portfolio! Bravo Sad Beauty, bravo” Mr. Photography dude says shaking his head.

Oh brother. Why does my pain over Prince Player get me good publicity?

“We could use her photo that I took of her on the runway for that one. Show the viewers how fierce she is now. But let’s use the one where the audience is blurred and she isn’t posing. It will show the definition of what I mean by *Sad Beauty*” he says to Mr. Sidekick.

I roll my eyes. Sure. Show everyone how I became stronger because Prince Player hurt me. I want them to stop talking about it so I say something to get their attention…

“He left me because my ass wasn’t big enough.”

Mr. Sidekick chokes on his orange juice and Mr. Photography raises his eyebrows at me, “How do you know that Sad Beauty?”

I look at my pancakes sadly. “He told me. He said that she had a bigger ass and I had bigger…boobs.”

They are both trying hard not to laugh and I smile a little.

Mr. Sidekick gets up to take a phone call. And Mr. Photography dude leans in. “There is nothing wrong with the size of your… butt. Your body is perfect. You know that right?”

“Yes…Heart has told me many times” I wink.

He laughs and seems a little hesitant, “…he hooked up with other girls besides her right?” I roll my eyes, “Oh yea. Like 5 other ones.”

He shakes his head in disbelief and laughs, “Don’t make assumptions Sad Beauty, I doubt that’s true”.

I give him my best innocent look and bat my eyelashes, “You’re right….it was 6.”

And Mr. Photography dude laughs at first but then he looks like he is thinking hard to himself. “If everything you said about him is true…and you have so much love for Heart…why in the world do you still give a damn about the player?”

I cross my arms. “Because. Every time I look at him, I think of our past. Our past serves as a gentle reminder of all the obstacles I have encountered and how tough I am. And I am one tough b**** ” I say proudly.

Mr. Photography dude really can’t stop laughing now, “Heart is one lucky dude. It’s a shame what he is missing” he says.

Hmmm I like how he is talking about him in the present tense.

“Oooooo can we talk about him now?” I ask. He nods and Mr. Sidekick comes back.

Stay tuned for Part 3! I promise it’s just as hilarious and emotional as this one 😉

xoxo. S.

If you are just tuning in: Please take a look at First Week Back: A Proposal From Mr. Photography dude…and other musings! and The Interview: On Blogging About My Personal Life 🙂

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