My Attachment Theory: Airplanes

It’s the post I have been nervous to release but the one my readers have been waiting for. I was reading Saying Goodbye to Freshman Year…Love, Faith, and my Auburn Hair 🙂 from a year and a half ago, and I was impressed with my maturity. It’s funny how things eventually fell into place.

One day a month or so ago, when I was with “Prince Player”, I just stared at him. We both new what was going on. I was in love with someone else, and “Prince Player” didn’t want me as more than a friend. So why did I feel so attached to him? It’s like he read my mind, “I don’t know. For some reason you’re still attached to me” he said. I wanted to explain to him why, but I couldn’t find the words.

For one thing, I’m attached to everyone that has appeared in my life. Be it the cashier at the grocery store, a neighbor, anyone really. But for the most part, he came into my life when everything was…. perfect. When I met him, I was so happy and excited for college. I had freedom. I had a new beginning. My family was happy. I was confident. I was stable.

airplanesWhen he started doing what he is oh so popular for, that’s when my life started to fall apart. My parents wanted a divorce, I was diagnosed with ADHD, I hated myself, I officially became unstable.

So why do I have an attachment towards “Prince Player?” Because every time I look at him, I remember when my life was perfect.

That’s not to say I’m not happy now. Because of my heartbreak over “Prince Player”, I met “Heart”. And “Heart” taught me that it doesn’t have to be perfect. He came into my life when everything was falling apart. But, he was the glue that brought everything together. My parents ended up working everything out and moving to Colorado together, my ADHD is a struggle but he and my family helped me with it, I am confident, “Heart” made me stable again. It’s obvious why I have an attachment towards “Heart”.

But that “Prince Player” one always remained a mystery to me, until now. When I look at him, all I think about is how as B.O.B says “Yeah, I could use a dream or a genie or a wish,to go back to a place much simpler than this.” So… that time when I first met him.

It”s true, life never gets easier. So there’s no reason to go back. But if anyone asks why I’m still attached to him, we know why. It’s the one point in my life where everything was….perfect and I never had to pretend that airplanes were shooting stars so that I could make a wish ❤

xoxo. S.

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