When I’m thinking about one man, I literally bump into the other. My goodness, Monday morning I woke up knowing this was going to be a crazy week with midterms. After class, I walked home thinking about my run in with “Prince Player” the night before Alls’s Fair in Love and ADHD and if I should text him. There were so many things I wanted to tell him, but it wasn’t worth it.
As I’m contemplating whether to send that text, I see “Heart!” People rush by us but we stare at each other and smile. I loved how I didn’t have to look at the floor or run my fingers in distress like I did when I saw “Prince Player”.
I saw “Heart” walk over to me and I smiled my genuine smile at him. “Hey girl” he said smiling an even cuter smile. I bite my lip and blush, I officially couldn’t breathe. “You’re not gonna give me a hug?” he asks as he puts his arm around me. Heavens I wanted to push him against the gate we were leaning on and kiss him! But I wasn’t sure if he wanted people to see us hugging…. He didn’t seem to care at the moment so I returned the hug. And then he had to get to class.
I liked bumping into him because I knew I couldn’t see him this week. Every day was busy for us this week, our mutual friend (my best friend) hosted another event Thursday night…I debated to myself a 100 times whether or not I should go- because if he happened to show up, I knew I couldn’t control myself. But finally I decided to just go, and thankfully….he wasn’t there. And I had a lot of fun at the event. We talked on the phone a little after and he asked me how it went. I feel very bad, because he really really wanted to go but he had work.
And then last night, I was hoping to see “Prince Player”. I contemplated to myself a 1,000 times if I should ask him if he was still coming to see me. But in the end, I didn’t. I can’t let myself be an option to him. I couldn’t bare the chance of him saying “No I don’t think so, sorry” like he always did freshman year. Either I have to change, or he has to change. And he won’t, so I will.
So, I graded papers. I listened to Lady Antebellum’s new album. I thought about “Heart”. And I just tried to be happy.
All’s fair in love and midterms week.