Weekend Musings: It Takes Two…

For some reason, I had a feeling “Prince Player” wasn’t going to come over yesterday. For as long as I have known him, I’ve been there for him when he was down- never the other way around. So why would he start caring for me now anyway? I was still hoping he would stop by but I decided I would go out during the day and get some shopping done instead of waiting.

So I went to Forever 21 with one of my good friends and bought a few dresses. After spending 5 hours downtown, I came back home and looked at the time.Heart-broken-quotes-for-him-13 Yup, “Prince Player” definitely wasn’t going to come over. And I wasn’t going to bother sending another “Are we going to hang out today?” text. When my eyes started getting misty, I told myself to get a grip. This is exactly what happened freshman year and there is absolutely no way I am climbing back in that boat. If “Prince Player” is busy, he’s busy (he should have called though). If he’s with other girls, he’s with other girls. He can say he’s changed, but in my heart I know he hasn’t and things will never be the same between us.

What I didn’t realize freshman year is that it takes two. I always kept blaming “Prince Player” for his excuses and the way I felt when he’d ditch me. But as I’m growing up, I’m slowly starting to realize half of the problem is the expectations I have and the way I react. So I decided unlike freshman year that I won’t make myself feel lonely and stare at the ceiling. As much as I wanted to tell him more about my crazy ADHD treatment symptoms, I knew it wasn’t worth it anymore. I called my friend Gabby and asked if she was still free that night, I originally said I won’t be able to go out with her Saturday night because I thought I’d be seeing “Prince Player”. She said yes. I put on one of the dresses I bought from Forever 21 and we went out.

As Gabby and I were talking, I see a familiar face. IT WAS THE GUY FROM MY PHOTOGRAPHY CLASS! I choke on my virgin margarita for a second.

“Shit. Gabby we have to go” I said.

“What why?” she asked.

All of a sudden, Mr. Photography dude started coming towards me.

“Well if it isn’t Sad Beauty herself” he said.

“Uh. I have to use the ladies room. I’ll be right back!” Gabby said with a wink. Oh god.

Mr. Photography dude sits down.

“You look great. What happened? Had a hot date tonight and the guy cancelled?” he asks laughing.

I give him a serious look. And look at the floor.

“Oh shit. Shahz. I’m sorry.”

“Go away please. I am fed up with the male species at the moment” I say.

He leans over. “It takes two you know. Don’t be hating. Not all of us are like that, you should give us a chance” and with that he leaves his number on my table and walks away.

I choke on my virgin margarita again. Gabby comes rushing over. “OH MY GOD! I saw the whole thing. He’s cute! Where’d you find him? He gave you his number?”

“He takes photos of me in photography class and is not my type” I say.

“Heart wasn’t your type and now he is…” she says laughing.

She had a point there. But I can’t. I still love “Heart” and will never understand where I stand with “Prince Player”.

“I had to grow up, I wish you could too. I wanted to save you, but I can only save myself. Oh, I can only be the change I want to see. It takes two, two sides to every story. Not just you, I can’t keep ignoring- I admit half of it, I’m not that innocent. It takes two” Katy Perry ❤

xoxo. S.

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