Since when did they become more important anyway?

9 am Denver time, my phone is buzzing- it’s my friend from back home wanting to skype.

“How about no” I say half asleep with my dog on top of me.

“Omg!! Shaz. WAKE UP. We need to have our weekly gossip sesh” she says.

“There is nothing to gossip about” I say.

“Which man is it this time? Heart or Prince Player”

Okay now I’m awake. I get on skype.

“Both” I say.

“Start with the one you love the most” she says.

“He’s not speaking to me! Like, nothing. No snapchats, fb messages, texts, phone call. NOTHING!”

“I see, how about the other one?” she says.

“He likes someone else. What’s new.”

“Why does this make you upset?” she asks.

“I’m not. I’m happy for him!” I say.

“Keep telling yourself that. Answer my question” she says.

“Becauseeeeee. This always happens. We get together when we are at our worst, we comfort each other, and then I think we have a chance of being together- AND THEN BAM! He admits he likes someone else. I’ll never be more than a friend to him” I say.

My friend can only make a sad face at me.

“Did you tell him that”?

I take in a breath. “No way.”

“Why not?”

“Because he likes her. And I love Heart. We both deserve something good” I shrug.

She sighs, “Well Shaz, I called to congratulate you on passing Chem….but I can see only men can make you happy now. Since when did they become more important?”

I laugh. I’m really proud of myself for passing Chemistry (I start Chemistry 2 today, dear God help me).

SJP-as-Carrie-carrie-bradshaw-24029211-500-374After thinking for a long time, I respond, “They aren’t. But I don’t know. Everything is going great, but there is that one hole in my heart. And without that space filled- I am incomplete.”

“You really are a writer, you know that?”

I wink at her. And with that, we are done. Hopefully I’ll have something better to tell her next Monday!

xoxo. S.




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