I never thought I would say that.
I’ve been waiting to tell you reader, Prince Player and I are friends again!
Last week, the day after “Heart” dumped me, I saw Prince Player and we talked. We talked about our common issues and how we should hang out soon.
So this past Saturday he showed up and we had a great time. I started realizing exactly why I liked him last year, we have so much in common!
One of the first things he did was flip over the picture of “Heart” on my bulletin board. I felt like someone cut me…but…he was right to do it. Why keep a picture of someone that doesn’t believe in a future with you?
It took a while for him to get me laughing. We started out by talking about his “playerness”. Imagine my shock when he said, “I’ve been out of my game lately.” Well….me too player, me too.
I looked at his beautiful face with facial hair. I had this need to cuddle against it like I used to. But then, I remembered why I hated him so much.
I brought up the fact that I still hate him for leaving me to screw our friend at my lowest point in life last year.
And holy shit. He finally understands. I saw a sign of regret and hurt in his eyes. Because he grabbed my hand, squeezed it, and said “I DIDN’T KNOW. I had no idea you were facing your lowest point in life. If I had known I would have been there for you like you are here for me!”
“So… was it a mistake?” I asked.
“Was what a mistake?” he asked.
“Her” I said.
“Oh yea, it was. I thought you were talking about me and you. That wasn’t a mistake” he said.
And with that, I felt so damn happy! He and I weren’t a mistake ❤ I admit it, and he admits it. It feels so great to finally agree on something with him.
But something isn’t right 😦 I feel like I have a billion questions that I probably don’t want to know the answers too.
“Just let it go Shaz” a good friend of mine said after I told him.
“Why?” I asked. “I can’t stop thinking about them and what they did together, it makes me so paranoid!!!!”
“She’s just plain spaghetti” he said with a smile.
I was so confused, I raised an eyebrow.
“No sauce. You’re spaghetti with sauce woman! Can’t you see? If he was still into her, he would have never come back to you. He regrets it. Let. It. Go. Shaz!” he concluded.
And so I did. But there is still something that is missing between us and I hate it. I forgive him, I respect him, I don’t hate him anymore…why can’t things feel the way it used to feel?
I have no idea reader… but I’ll keep you posted! 🙂
Anyways, he left rather early. He said that he will come back again to make up for it. Um…when exactly? This is May…I’m pretty sure the rest our weekends this month look pretty busy. I hope we figure it out.