Elevator musings, the Oscar’s, and oh- Happy March!

One time, “Heart” told me, that I would be his woman at the Oscar’s. Wait, wait, wait I am jumping in way to fast into the weekend. We have to start with Friday reader! (You’re gonna love this, well if you don’t…. just scroll to the bottom to read the “Heart” story.)

Remember when I told you guys that “Prince Player” and I are like in the same circles and I always have to see him whether I like it or not. Yea. This weekend, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I had to see him. That’s a lot of “Prince Player” let me tell you.

Anyways, it all started Friday. I had spent the whole night before studying for my Chem exam and got four hours of sleep. And then when I went to take the exam, I blanked as usual. So I went to the meeting, all pissed and in need of an Advil. The whole time, I was thinking about “Heart”. I have no clue why but I was thinking 1,000 things at once and it had everything to do with him. I had to get out of that room as soon as possible, but there was no way. So I waited and I waited and finally, it was time to go.

no airI grabbed my stuff and quickly walked out. I had originally planned to talk to “Prince Player” and ask him how he was doing but… my mind was all over “Heart” and I needed to get air as soon as possible before I passed out. (Now you see why I chose “No Air” as last week’s Song of the Week)I had tears in my eyes. Halfway though, I realized I was walking the wrong way. So I turned around and saw he was on his way out. I tried turning a different way so he wouldn’t see me, but he did and it was too late. Shit. I was gonna have to have an awkward elevator convo with him.

I walked towards him and the elevator. “How are you?” he asked. I tried to speak, but no words would come out. I’m about to cry and breakdown, I thought to myself. Thankfully he answered it for me, “Good?” I smiled and nodded. And then the elevator came and I stared at him.

He stared at me as well,”I heard you have a boyfriend now.” My eyes widened. Before I could think, the words slipped out of my mouth- “He’s not my boyfriend anymore.” He asked me what his name was, I swallowed and told him. And then he repeated his name and made a funny joke. We reached the lobby and said bye. As we walked our separate ways, that tear drop finally fell down my cheek. Heart. Heart. Heart. Saying his name just made me even sadder.

And then Saturday came, I have been waiting for Saturday. Saturday was the first day of March. Spring season. My life always gets better in Spring. And then I realized, I have this long meeting on Saturday…with Prince Player. And then again on Sunday. Holy crap. I’m gonna suffocate again I thought to myself.

But then I did something. I took an Advil, I took the picture of “Heart” off my wall, and put on my Colorado girl boots. And then I told myself, “Today is the first day of March. Starting today, I’m gonna get my shit together” and got a move on.

I was talking to some of my students, when I spotted him. After being a total spaz on Friday, I decided I’d try and redeem myself. It wasn’t necessary considering he is a dick and was not the nicest person to me when I needed him last year but….I care about him, and I wanted to check up on him (aren’t I such a sweetie?)

“Hey!” I called to him. “How’s it going? Your so bubbly!” he responded. Some people would consider that nothing, but I was so happy he said that because this past month- most people would say I look sad. And I felt like it too. But not Saturday! So, I agreed with him and laughed…”Yea today’s just a lot better than yesterday!” He asked me what was wrong yesterday, I wasn’t going to get into details about me feeling like I have “no air” and the Chem test so I just shrugged and said “I was just really sad and then you dropped the H word.” He was confused, he guessed a few words, and I raised my eyebrows at him. And then he got it “OH!” he said laughing really hard (it was “Heart”). I smiled it him. “I’m sorry” he said and gave me a hug. And then I told him I’ve been meaning to ask him how he’s doing, and he responded, “I’ve been better.” AMEN. I’m glad we finally agreed on something. He said he’ll talk to me about it later (that means after one month).

And then today, all we said was hi and bye- that’s it. Anyways the point is, Prince Player and I ignored each other when we had to and said what we needed to say to each other when we had to these past three days. See, I told you I could be human with him. In between the meeting, I got a message from “Heart”.

“I need Jesus” it said. Suddenly, I needed air again. Him needing Jesus means something serious is going on. I didn’t respond since I was in the meeting. So I waited and waited to get out. And as soon as I got out, I messaged back, “Stay strong love, it’s what you do best <3”. He responded as well, “Thank you Shazzzz”.

Anyways, tonight is the Oscar’s. I am having a difficulty watching it because one day, before I went to sleep, “Heart” said- “One day I’m gonna be an actor winning an Oscar… standing right beside my beautiful Victoria’s Secret model (you).”

And you guys wonder why I miss that bastard ❤ The one month of our break up is this Tuesday, I already have the special ready to be published!

xoxo. Shaz.

3 thoughts on “Elevator musings, the Oscar’s, and oh- Happy March!

  1. Love it Shaz!! Prince Player AND Heart (did you say you broke up with him?) Oh boy I am soooo behind…. Well anyway.. They both are blessed that you give a blue razoo about them and should be grateful I say…

    Also No AIR – THAT is my break up song… ouch ouch and ouch.. I cried during that dumb amazing song every time I heard it (which was on purpose about 10 times a day) for about a year.. lol

    How do you think you went with the Chem exam?


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