How I’m smiling even though the love of my life, “Heart”, just totally broke my heart.
To answer their question:
a) I’m not really smiling. My pillow is stained with my tears every single night, and I almost ran out of lab today. It’s unbearable and hard to concentrate. I’m faking all the happiness I show on the outside. I know that if I cry, I won’t stop and I will make a scene.
b) He would want me to smile. Every time I was upset, he used to say “SMILE PRINCESS! I don’t want you to be unhappy!”
c) It’s simple. He made me so happy these past few months, that it’s hard for me to be sad. I just think of every single moment we shared together- and smile. And I could tell it was hard for him to leave me, I could tell he didn’t want to do it, I can tell he loves me. Just knowing that he will miss me as much as I miss him, is enough for me.
But you see, this is good and bad.
With guys that cheat on me and have a pathetic excuse to leave me…it’s easy to be sad. It’s easy to hate them, forget them, and move on.
But “Heart”? He was the most loyal lover I have ever had. He came into my life during a time I was so down. He came out of no where and lifted me. He has inspired me like no other. He changed my life and made me a better person. And for that, I am humbled. It is so incredibly difficult to forget and move on from someone that gave me so much to remember.