After “Heart” and I said our goodbyes, I was left feeling confused. He and his best friend Harris had different stories about his scandalous behaviors…and I just could not choose who to believe :( Especially after the way “Heart’s” been treating me lately.
I stayed up all night to finish my last final paper. I fell asleep around 4am. The next day, I woke up to go tour my apartment for next year. The second I joyously walk in…guess who I see? The girl “Heart” was flirting with at MY election win. No way, she lives here?!? I could imagine “Heart” has been here a few times :0
Ugh I felt sick. I HAVE TO LIVE IN THE SAME BUILDING AS HER? What if “Heart” is in her room one day and mine the next?
She smiles when she sees me. “What’s up?” Honey, we all know what’s up. I see her again after the tour is over, I wave bye and my eyes sting as I walk outside.
I call “Mr. Photography dude”.
“Okay first of all, dump this guy. Second of all, maybe she won’t even live there next year! The building is not that great…”
Yea. I hope. I mean I hope she doesn’t live there next year, not that the building isn’t great!
My eyes are watering. But I need to go to CVS so I can buy Z a present for comforting me and staying up with me on Tuesday night.
I wipe my eyes, and right when I walk in, I see a familiar face. “Prince Player”.
Time freezes for a second. He is standing in the line to pay.
He says hi to me.
I whip my hair to the side and yell “Bye!” It’s been over a month since he’s talked to me and I’m on the verge of tears from what I just discovered.
“Wait! Are you leaving today?” He gets out of line and starts walking to me.
I walk over to him and get close to him. “Why am I having a deja-vu of Freshman year?”
He doesn’t move. “Well. I guess it’s not like Freshman year. I leave tomorrow” I say thankful that this moment wasn’t like Saying Goodbye to Freshman Year…Love, Faith, and my Auburn Hair :)
He tells me he will come say bye then. I tell him that “tonight will be better”.
“Here’s the thing” he begins.
Uh oh another girl…I think to myself.
“….I’m working tonight” he finishes. Phew. That’s better. So we agree on the next day. My flight is later in the day anyway. I’m not all that excited because I know I’ll be in a mad rush returning my books, keys, and putting the remainder of my stuff in storage.But, seeing him before I leave is better than not seeing him. I continue talking to him.
I accidentally blurt out how I just found out “Heart” is a player just like him.
“I don’t like being compared to him….” he says.
My hands are freezing and so I put it on his arm. He stares at it, and his phone rings. A work call. Now he definitely has to get going. So we say our goodbyes, he pays for his stuff, and I buy Z a box of chocolates.
Friday comes. It is rather depressing like the last day of Freshman year because my room was so empty. But it was better because my finals went better, I had better friends, and…”Prince Player” was actually coming to say bye!
When it’s time for player to come see me, I put a rush on my errands and head back home.
A few minutes later, he wasn’t there- so I send him a text. He replies that he fell behind on his work and can’t come for another 2 hours. I worry to myself. He doesn’t sound like himself. He’s sad…about something. It must be the end-of-the-year-blues I’m facing as well.
I look at the clock, my flight leaves in 6 hours and I have to leave in 3 hours which means…we will only have an hour to say our goodbyes. I take it. So I go and do more errands as he finishes up.
And then finally, two hours later, he shows up.
We talk. I tell him that we are graduating in a year…and then we’ll never speak to each other again.
“That’s not true. I’m sure we’ll cross paths. We have Facebook, e-mail, texting, Snapchat… And you’ll be married at 23″ he says not worried at all.
“I like how you try to keep in touch with Player, but not ‘Heart'” Mr. Photography dude says later on Skype.
I give him a look. “Uh yea. Because ‘Heart’ wants nothing to do with me! He thinks I can just erase him out of my brain and will get feelings if I just look at him!”
Anyways, back to player.
I tell him sadly that no one will want to marry me at 23, and ask him why boys keep doing what they keep doing to me :(
“Well. When I did it to you. I just…wanted to spice things up. Not that things weren’t spicy between us! But I was…young” he says.
I nod. I could definitely see “Heart” being a typical young college guy having his fun. But why did he have to do it to me :(
I tell him I’m over what he did to me, I have been for a while.
“I just…had high expectations… I guess” I say.
And he says something “Heart” doesn’t have the guts to say. “And that’s good. You should still have those high expectations”.
I smile at him. I like how player acknowledges that having feelings is alright, while “Heart” practically ridicules me for having feelings.
“I wish things were the way they used to be between us.” Oops. I didn’t mean to say that.
Player doesn’t respond. And it’s okay. It didn’t come out the way I wanted it to. All I meant was, maybe if things were okay with player, I wouldn’t have gotten caught up with “Heart” and create an even bigger scandal :0
Thankfully, we start talking about how much we have accomplished this past year despite our difficulties.
“I tell you. ADHD rules every single part of my life. It affects my relationship with you. It affects my relationship with Heart. It affects my school work. It affects my performances. BUT I STILL DID IT!” I say.
He nods at every single point. And I can see, in his eyes, that he genuinely is proud of me.
I sigh. I tell him I’ll miss him. He looks at me and agrees that he will miss me too.
“Do you like me?” I ask.
Again, no response. But I can tell there’s something. “A little?” I ask.
“I like you a little too”.
Neither of us smile. Because. Let’s face it. He’s no “Heart”, and I’m not the girl of his dreams :(
Soon he leaves. He tells me to text him and snapchat him. I say I will and I mean it.
And then he’s gone.
So that’s how Junior year ended. Worse than Sophomore year, but better than Freshman year. May Senior year be the best of them all <3