I Don’t Really Like My Internship…

There. I said it.

My worst nightmare has come true. I have become unfond of my internship of being an RA and TA at a highly prestigious university. This internship was my dream job, and now… not so much.

I’ve been hiding it from everyone around me. But last night, after I put all my kids to bed, I put myself to bed and I couldn’t stop crying.

I never get “alone” time. I am on my feet 6am to 11am. And everyday, something terrible happens. A student in class will ask me a question I can’t answer, a student in the dorm will get mad at me for telling him/her to keep it down, oh and the worst- I will be asked to run an errand as I nap during my 30 minute daily break.

Today, right before I put my kids to bed, I got a few minutes to call my family. Even finding time to do that has become a challenge. Especially today when my supervisor asked me to run some medication to a dorm right before midnight. Uh, that wasn’t in my job description…

Anyways, I called them. And for the third day in a row, my mom asked if I liked my job.

Finally today, I flipped. “Mom. I don’t know many people who would like a job they had to work from 6am to 11pm. I teach class until 3:00. And then 3:00 to 11:00 I have to make and supervise all the students activities/study sessions. 7 days a week. Unless I get a day off. Which I only get every 3 weeks. Would you enjoy this?”

“I totally agree with you. I knew it!” she says. “Don’t do this summer job again next year. Just don’t.”

For once I agreed with her. Even “Heart” texted yesterday asking if I was free. Was I? No. By the time I texted back, he was busy and I was too sleepy. By the time I have time to call anyone at night, be it him, my friends, or my family- I’m so tired I can’t even think. I can’t even respond to what they’re saying. I’m falling asleep. They waited all day to talk to me….and I’m irritable?

That’s not how I want things to be :(

xoxo. S.

Summer Camp

I don’t think I have ever worked 16-20 hours A DAY in my life before. Until this week. All day, every day. On Tuesday, I officially started my internship as a teaching assistant and resident advisor at a nearby university. Kids from all over the world come for this “camp” every summer for 6 weeks. That’s right, I will be on call 24/7 and working 16 hours a day for the next…6 weeks.

WHAT A WEEK. Most of these 16 hours have been filled with training and decorating my residence hall. I have never felt busier. I even had to miss the blogiversary of our fellow blogger Paul at The Captain’s Speech!

The first few days weren’t that bad. And, I also got to talk to “Prince Player” in between. For once, he was responsive to my messages and kept me sane. I landed back in Chicago around 1:00 Tuesday and training went from 5:00-9:00. So far so good I thought.  It is Wednesday when all of the madness started. 6:00 am-11:00 pm was non-stop training. You could imagine it was difficult to wake up Thursday. When training again, lasted from 6:00 am-11:00 pm. I passed out immediately when I got into my dorm. Around 3:00am, I hear my phone vibrate. I panic and think it’s about one of my students. But I look at the screen, holy moly.

It is “Heart”. “Hi!”

“Hi….” I text back.

“How are you, how have you been?”

“Busy” I text back.

“Are you busy now?”

Is he for real :0 “No…but I’m sleeping. I have to be up at 6!”

He tells me to go back to sleep. I text back “Good night :)”

And then. He dares to text back, “Unless…you want to Skype”.

He can’t be serious. I put my phone on do not disturb and go back to sleep. When I was awake again at 6:00 for work, I texted him back. We talked for a while. We joke that there is no way he can see me this summer as I am not allowed to have any visitors and am on call 24/7. And everyday I get home, I just pass out. It might be a good thing, keeping myself busy will prevent me from talking to him. I suggest we talk through text and Skype but he doesn’t respond. Oh well. Player stopped responding to my messages too. It’s okay.

Yesterday was starting out to be a better day. Although I had to get up again at 6:00, I was at least given a two hour break to well this has been funsit unlike the other days. But later at 11:00, when we were released from training- the director came by. She had some critiques about our hall, she didn’t like it. My co resident advisers and I got up from bed…and remade everything. Around 1:30, we finished.

Our director stopped by to look at it again in the morning. She liked it! So got 6:00 am-7:00 pm off :) Finally, I have caught up on my sleep! But the 6:00am to 11:00 pm schedule starts again tomorrow :(

Help me.

xoxo. S.

The Season Finale Part 2 (How Junior Year Really Ended)

After “Heart” and I said our goodbyes, I was left feeling confused. He and his best friend Harris had different stories about his scandalous behaviors…and I just could not choose who to believe :( Especially after the way “Heart’s” been treating me lately.

I stayed up all night to finish my last final paper. I fell asleep around 4am. The next day, I woke up to go tour my apartment for next year. The second I joyously walk in…guess who I see? The girl “Heart” was flirting with at MY election win. No way, she lives here?!? I could imagine “Heart” has been here a few times :0

Ugh I felt sick. I HAVE TO LIVE IN THE SAME BUILDING AS HER? What if “Heart” is in her room one day and mine the next?

She smiles when she sees me. “What’s up?” Honey, we all know what’s up. I see her again after the tour is over, I wave bye and my eyes sting as I walk outside.

I call “Mr. Photography dude”.

“Okay first of all, dump this guy. Second of all, maybe she won’t even live there next year! The building is not that great…”

Yea. I hope. I mean I hope she doesn’t live there next year, not that the building isn’t great!

My eyes are watering. But I need to go to CVS so I can buy Z a present for comforting me and staying up with me on Tuesday night.

I wipe my eyes, and right when I walk in, I see a familiar face. “Prince Player”.

Time freezes for a second. He is standing in the line to pay.

He says hi to me.

I whip my hair to the side and yell “Bye!” It’s been over a month since he’s talked to me and I’m on the verge of tears from what I just discovered.

“Wait! Are you leaving today?” He gets out of line and starts walking to me.

I walk over to him and get close to him. “Why am I having a deja-vu of Freshman year?”

He doesn’t move. “Well. I guess it’s not like Freshman year. I leave tomorrow” I say thankful that this moment wasn’t like Saying Goodbye to Freshman Year…Love, Faith, and my Auburn Hair :)

He tells me he will come say bye then. I tell him that “tonight will be better”.

“Here’s the thing” he begins.

Uh oh another girl…I think to myself.

“….I’m working tonight” he finishes. Phew. That’s better. So we agree on the next day. My flight is later in the day anyway. I’m not all that excited because I know I’ll be in a mad rush returning my books, keys, and putting the remainder of my stuff in storage.But, seeing him before I leave is better than not seeing him. I continue talking to him.

I accidentally blurt out how I just found out “Heart” is a player just like him.

“I don’t like being compared to him….” he says.

We laugh.

My hands are freezing and so I put it on his arm. He stares at it, and his phone rings. A work call. Now he definitely has to get going. So we say our goodbyes, he pays for his stuff, and I buy Z a box of chocolates.

Friday comes. It is rather depressing like the last day of Freshman year because my room was so empty. But it was better because my finals went better, I had better friends, and…”Prince Player” was actually coming to say bye!

When it’s time for player to come see me, I put a rush on my errands and head back home.

A few minutes later, he wasn’t there- so I send him a text. He replies that he fell behind on his work and can’t come for another 2 hours. I worry to myself. He doesn’t sound like himself. He’s sad…about something. It must be the end-of-the-year-blues I’m facing as well.

I look at the clock, my flight leaves in 6 hours and I have to leave in 3 hours which means…we will only have an hour to say our goodbyes. I take it. So I go and do more errands as he finishes up.

And then finally, two hours later, he shows up.

We talk. I tell him that we are graduating in a year…and then we’ll never speak to each other again.

“That’s not true. I’m sure we’ll cross paths. We have Facebook, e-mail, texting, Snapchat… And you’ll be married at 23″ he says not worried at all.

I laugh.

“I like how you try to keep in touch with Player, but not ‘Heart'” Mr. Photography dude says later on Skype.

I give him a look. “Uh yea. Because ‘Heart’ wants nothing to do with me! He thinks I can just erase him out of my brain and will get feelings if I just look at him!”

Anyways, back to player.

I tell him sadly that no one will want to marry me at 23, and ask him why boys keep doing what they keep doing to me :(

“Well. When I did it to you. I just…wanted to spice things up. Not that things weren’t spicy between us! But I was…young” he says.

I nod. I could definitely see “Heart” being a typical young college guy having his fun. But why did he have to do it to me :(

I tell him I’m over what he did to me, I have been for a while.

“I just…had high expectations… I guess” I say.

And he says something “Heart” doesn’t have the guts to say. “And that’s good. You should still have those high expectations”.

I smile at him. I like how player acknowledges that having feelings is alright, while “Heart” practically ridicules me for having feelings.

“I wish things were the way they used to be between us.” Oops. I didn’t mean to say that.

Player doesn’t respond. And it’s okay. It didn’t come out the way I wanted it to. All I meant was, maybe if things were okay with player, I wouldn’t have gotten caught up with “Heart” and create an even bigger scandal :0

Thankfully, we start talking about how much we have accomplished this past year despite our difficulties.

“I tell you. ADHD rules every single part of my life. It affects my relationship with you. It affects my relationship with Heart. It affects my school work. It affects my performances. BUT I STILL DID IT!” I say.

He nods at every single point. And I can see, in his eyes, that he genuinely is proud of me.

I sigh. I tell him I’ll miss him. He looks at me and agrees that he will miss me too.

“Do you like me?” I ask.

Again, no response. But I can tell there’s something. “A little?” I ask.

He nods.

“I like you a little too”.

right name, right looksNeither of us smile. Because. Let’s face it. He’s no “Heart”, and I’m not the girl of his dreams :(

Soon he leaves. He tells me to text him and snapchat him. I say I will and I mean it.

And then he’s gone.

So that’s how Junior year ended. Worse than Sophomore year, but better than Freshman year. May Senior year be the best of them all <3

xoxo. S.

The Season Finale (How Junior Year Really Ended)

Continued from: Plot Twist- Junior Year Did Not End the Way Freshman Year Did

I knew “Heart” wouldn’t do what “Prince Player” did to me freshman year. I knew he wouldn’t play me, ignore me for months, and then leave for the Summer without saying goodbye. No matter what his best friend Harris said.

But if what “Harris” said is true, it is not worth my time to see him. I call Z and ask her what she thinks I should do. She says that she knows I want to see him, so I should just let him come see me, and she will stand by me even if I make a stupid decision.

So I tell “Heart” I’m free and quickly go put on makeup. 15 minutes later, he is at my place. He smiles at me and goes to get our “celebration wine” from my hiding place. We take a sip and embrace. What is he doing? He’s treating me like I’m the only woman in the world.

get over itWe lay down and he mentions that we should use this summer to try to get over each other. Considering the way he’s been treating me lately, I agree with him for once.

We’re both serious about it, that he makes me pinky promise! And I do because I’m serious too.

“Whenever I see you in public. My heart beats fast and gah I go crazy!” he says. I smile.That would explain why he reacted the way he did at the election. He will never know the way I feel when I see him in public.

“Harris said all you did yesterday was ask about me” he says changing the subject. Bastard. Where the heck is Harris’s loyalty?

I admit it. “Well yea because I was hoping to see you and I kept waiting for you!”

He explains he was with a friend who was viting from Michigan.

“You treat me like I’m your last priority” I say.

He’s shocked. “What? Shahz. Why would you say that? Talk to me. You are not my last priority.”

“We always do things according to your schedule. And then you’ll text me randomly when you are finally free and I have to drop everything I’m doing!”

“Shahz, you could always tell me ‘no’ you know? And I’ll come back later” he says.

“No you won’t. You’ll make me wait. And go do this with other girls” I respond. Wait what? I didn’t mean for that to slip out!

“What the heck are you talking about? I’m not with other girls” he says offended. As we say in Arabic, Alhamduillah. I knew Harris was lying! Or is “Heart” lying? :0

In the past, when I have confronted a player on their “scandalous” behavior, they have admitted to it. “Heart” seemed genuinely offended I would think that.

I feel better, but I try not to buy what he’s saying. Why would Harris make up something like that? I know “Heart” and him have been flaky lately…but would they really do that kind of revenge to each other?

Whatever. I’ll worry about this later. Right now, “Heart” is here to say goodbye to me.

He says that he heard I became Vice President (at the event he didn’t clap me for me at) and Harris became President of our club. And then he mentions he recently got elected as President of his club and that he will be collaborating with us a lot. I give him a look.

“Don’t worry. When we come back to school, I’ll be busy with my internship, school, and my own club so I won’t come to your club then” he says winking.

I smile and laugh. It really stinks that two people who love each other are trying their best to avoid each other.

He tells me to let him know how my internship is going (I probably won’t) and that he will be working on a film this summer and sharing it on Facebook so I should watch it (I might).

We wish each other well and we go our separate ways.

I’m distracted by even more packing and my Psychology paper, but I didn’t cry this time and finished the Psychology paper a minute before it was due. And that is how Junior year really ended :)

xoxo. S.

Plot Twist- Junior Year Did Not End the Way Freshman Year Did

Continued from: The Way Junior Year Ended the Way Freshman Year Did

As soon as Harris left on Tuesday, I cried my eyes out. I continue drinking the celebration wine I reserved for me and “Heart”. I typed up my Screenwriting final while crying. It was due in an hour :( As soon as it was done, I passed out. It was only 11:00, but I was tired from staying up until 4am the night before studying and not taking a nap because I was waiting for “Heart” and helping his best friend all day. I wake up around 2am when I feel my phone buzzing, it’s my best friend Z. I see 10 text messages from her all asking if I’m okay as she heard the news. I don’t have the strength to talk so I ignore her call. But then I see she has left me a voicemail.

“Hey Shahz. It’s me. I am so sorry for calling so late, but I am worried about you. I hope you have eaten and have packed for tomorrow. I hope you’re okay and I care about you. And I’m really worried about you, please eat something. And if you need ANYTHING just call me okay? But girl, please just stay calm. It’s okay. Whatever it is we’ll deal with it together. And when I find out whatever H is doing to you, I will seriously dig his grave. I love you. I care for you and I’m really worried about you so please call back when you can okay? Okay. Bye.”

The bolded line really got me crying. But I noticed I had yet another voicemail from her. Uh oh, it seemed she had called 7 minutes later when I didn’t pick up the first time.

“Hey Shahz. I’m really really worried about you. Please please call me back. Girl, I’m so really worried- please call me back. I will stay up all night if I have to. Just please call me back okay? I love you and please don’t cry. Girl, please please call me back I just need to hear you. I’m here for you, whatever you need from me and I’m gonna stay awake all night if I have to. Please call me back. I love you. Bye.”

Well then. I had no choice. I owed my best friend that much after she was the only person who decided to check up on me.

I dial her number.

“Hey girl! Are you okay?” she says.

I swallow the gulp in my throat. “I don’t know if I can speak, Z” I say trying not to cry.

“Shahz. You’re gonna have to. Now go!” she says.

“Harris told me. That. I am one of “Heart’s” many girlfriends. And that he is in and out of girls apartments every week” I say.

“Okay….” Z says.

“I was his sex toy, Z. These past few weeks, whenever he came to see me, he just came because he wanted something from me. Sex, homework, or money. And all this time. He has been rubbing his body with other girls??? What the fuck Z? I FEEL LIKE TRASH. I FEEL LIKE A PIECE OF MEAT! How disgusting is this?” I cry loudly.

“I know hun. It is really disgusting. But look at this as a blessing. God removed someone nasty out of your life!” she says.

“I don’t know Z. I always thought he was different. But he’s a player just like my last 3 lovers. God. What could I have possibly done to make him do this? That girl Harris showed me a picture of isn’t even pretty!!!!!” I say.

“I could imagine. You’re beautiful Shahz!” she says.

“What the hell do I do now Z? Mr. Photography dude will be here at 9 in the morning to help me move my stuff out. And…I haven’t packed a thing. I just want to throw everything from this crappy year away!”

“No Shahz. Just pack. When you wake up in the morning, everything will be in boxes and you’ll open them up in your new place when you come back in the Fall. Then this summer, you’ll meet some awesome guy at your internship. Then you’ll come back for Senior year, and you can show Harris and “Heart” that you don’t need anything from them. And it’ll be a fresh start for you!”

So we hang up. I get out of bed and eat some breadsticks that I order from a late night delivery place. Then I start the packing process. I see the picture of “Heart” and rip it up. Anything that reminded me of him, I ripped it up. Eventually around 7am, I was exhausted. I slept and woke up to a text from Mr. Photography dude at 9 am. He was here to help me move the stuff. Jesus, why couldn’t he let me sleep and come later :( For the first time in my college career, I didn’t do my makeup or shower. If you saw me, you’d think someone died. But I was running low on love and sleep.

I put all my stuff in his car and pray no one sees me. When I get back, I pass out again. This sleeping and not sleeping schedule is messing me up.

I wake up around 4pm and Z comes to visit me. I open the door with my hair frazzled and no makeup. She gives me a long hug.

“Okay stop” I say laughing and crying.

We talk for a few minutes and she says she really has to get back to studying. I’m really hungry. I hadn’t eaten for 14 hours. I walk her back to her place and stop at Starbucks. I buy myself a frappuccino and cake pop. I feel better. It’s beautiful outside, people are laughing, why shouldn’t I be? So I smile to myself and walk back home. I start my Psychology final paper and do some laundry. I’m actually alright.

I’m smiling to myself as I pour laundry detergent. I hear my phone buzz. I’m thinking it’s Z. But it’s actually, “Heart”. Holy moly.

“Hey. What are you doing? I can come over now.”

My jaw is on the floor. What? Oh this oughta be good.

***Stay tuned to hear “Heart’s” reaction to what Harris said about him! Was Harris lying?*** InThe Season Finale (How Junior Year Really Ended)


xoxo. S.

The Way Junior Year Ended the Way Freshman Year Did

I just took my last final, and have two more essay to write. And I just spent almost the entire day with “Heart’s” best friend.

It was supposed to be spent with “Heart”, but he didn’t want me. Right after I published the last post, I got a text from him on Sunday! We agreed to meet up today so we can finish his paper and say our goodbyes. I worked hard on Sunday and studied my butt off yesterday for my final, I was looking forward to seeing him as soon as my final ended at 11 am.

But 11 am arrived and I had no texts from him. I could see he was online on social media, but really, nothing. Eventually, I fell asleep. When I woke up at 3- I received a message from his best friend, Harris. He wanted to know if I can help him his paper. Strange, where the heck was “Heart”? I was supposed to be helping him with his paper, not his best friend! I decide to ask Harris where “Heart” is, as they do come to school and go home together. He says that Harris and him have been on campus since 11 and just left to go work on his paper with the professor.

TRAITOR. First he had about 4 hours to spend time with me, and then…he decided not to get my opinion on the paper that I helped him with?

So I ask Harris to text “Heart” if he would be okay with Harris coming over and me helping him. Immediately, “Heart” texted him saying “go”.

What. Really? Then I tell Harris to wait and text “Heart” myself asking if he will be coming over. He says “maybe later” on account of he was with the professor.

So I allow Harris to come over and I help him. Hours go by and “Heart” keeps on texting him with updates that he is with friends or blah blah blah. Not one single message to me. I try to get Harris to tell me what the heck “Heart” is up to and if he is with other girls, he refuses to tell me anything.

When it starts to get dark outside I ask Harris why the heck “Heart” isn’t coming over and why he hasn’t texted me, he says something that turns my world upside down.

“He has a lot of girls you know….”

My heart sinks. “What?” I ask.

“Face it. He didn’t want to come over this week to say goodbye to you, he just wanted to know what to write for the final paper. But now, he realized he can just go to Professor’s office hours for that- so he decided he didn’t need you.”

I am about to cry. When his phone buzzes again, it is a Snapchat from someone. I ask who it’s from.

He laughs and says “You don’t want to know…it’s from one of his girlfriends”. He opens the Snapchat and shows it to me. She’s not even that pretty.

I ask how this is even possible. “Are you telling me. That he is intimate with me one week, and he is intimate with some other girl the next week?”

Harris nods.

I feel like I’m going to puke, “That’s disgusting.”

“It is disgusting. And I didn’t want to tell you, and I’m not supposed to tell you, but you helped me with my paper so….”

I shake my head. After he leaves, I open up the wine I reserved for “Heart” and I.

Great. Another guy who turned out to be a “player”, and another game I lost.

Why did this year have to be just like freshman year? Somehow, I knew this would happen :(

xoxo. S.

I Think I Deserve Better…

Tomorrow marks the start of my last official week of Junior year. I’m procrastinating on studying for my two hardest finals because I’m too sad thinking about the way “Heart” treated me at my election.

I’m starting to think I deserve better. I read my diary from Freshman year, and I cried my eyes out. Because I realized a very sad truth. “Heart” is treating me the way “Prince Player” used to treat me :(

“I’m sorry, did “Heart” hook up with your guys’a mutual friend?” Mr. Photography dude asks as we study.

I give him a look.

“Okay, okay asif (sorry!)” he says. I just shrug. For all I know, he may have.

“I think I get what your saying. He only contacts you when he needs something. Most of the time something physical…And that’s what player did” he says.

I nodyes!!!. It’s true. The last time “Heart” broke up with me and said, “I don’t feel the same way I used to feel about you. I want more than physical pleasure” I was shocked. What the heck was he talking about? I felt the same way…and I was definitely getting more than that type of pleasure from him!

But recently, after my big election win, I realized- that’s not true. And I’m starting to feel the same exact way as he does. Even though later he said he didn’t really mean any of it. I am starting to feel that way.

Really, I definitely don’t feel the same way about him as I used to feel. Before, when people ask me what I like about him- I was able to give a long answer. Now, I can’t find even one word to describe what I like about him.

Because. All he does is use me.

After everything I accomplished my Junior year- I made the Dean’s list, I was a model in a Fashion show, I was an actress in a big play, I got into the Master’s program, I got a big internship at a big university….he treats me like I’m nothing special.

And I deserve better.

xoxo. S.

Raining on My Parade: In Love and Politics

That son of a gun. How dare “Heart” ruin my election win :0 Wait, I should start from the beginning. First, hello reader, how are you? Sorry I haven’t updated for a while. This “Heart” situation and finals week is driving me crazy.

Anyways, it all started out on Sunday.


A message from “Heart”. Fabulous. He asks if I can help him with his paper for class on Monday. We’ve been good lately so I say yes. I sleep peacefully and wake up early in the morning to a text.

“I’m so sick. Like going to the emergency room sick.”

Oh dear. I tell him to rest up and he can just swing by on Tuesday or whenever he feels better. So Tuesday comes. He texts me first (rare) and confirms he’ll be stopping by.We work on his paper and spend time with each other. It was cute. I finally told him about my internship, my family’s move to Texas, and everything that’s been bugging me. Unlike everyone else, he soothed me instead of asking me a billion questions. Then, he had to go to class :/ But he said he will make sure to stop by on Thursday to say goodbye because he won’t be on campus next week (move-out week). He says we will drink wine and celebrate.

So I get excited. I mean hey, it’s a rare opportunity to spend time with him twice a week. I thought it was too good to be true (and it was).

Anyways, that night I bumped into “Prince Player”. I ALWAYS bump into “Prince Player” after something good happens between me and “Heart”. It’s as if I’m being tested. And our interaction is rather awkward. Right after we say hi to each other, we bump into one of his guy friends. They talk about Sangria. Interesting convo but we are reaching my gate and I really want to talk to player and know if he will say goodbye to me before I leave. When we reach my gate, he finally stops and says bye to his friend. Now it’s just us two. I ask why he’s ignoring me. He denies it. I ask him why he hates me. He says it’s because I hate him. Here we go again. Soon, I realize our convo isn’t going anywhere. And it’s not worth it to see him again before I leave. So we say bye. And I’m somewhat okay because I know I’ll be spending time with “Heart” on Thursday (or so I thought).

Thursday (Election Day):

So Thursday is a big day. One because it was the last day “Heart” and I would get time together before I head back home and two because I was running for Vice President of our club! I wake up and see no texts from him. I text him and he says he can’t come over at the moment because “some things came up”. He says he will try to come later in the evening and let me know if he can’t make it.

The clock ticks and I see no messages from him as the hours go by. Eventually, it’s time for me to forget him- I have to get to my election!

I walk in and my friends in the club are congratulating me. Even “Heart’s” best friend. I’m having a great time.

10 minutes later, “Heart” walks in. What the heck?

Everyone is staring at him, but he comes over to me first.

He hugs me. I stand with my arms crossed. “Why didn’t you come over?” I whisper.

People are listening and this isn’t safe. “I was busy. Really busy” he whispers back and goes to another girl (who has been eying us the entire time) immediately.

Oh I see. He was too busy to come say goodbye to me but he wasn’t so busy to come to my election!!!?

I see him give the other girl a hug. She says something about seeing him after the meeting. WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHAT????

I have no time to give them a piece of my mind as the current President tells everyone to sit down as it is time to pass out awards and announce the new executive board of our club.

The normal people like “Heart” and the other girl gets their “Participation” awards first. Everyone, including myself claps. Really, I meant it when I clapped for them.

loyaltyThen, it was my turn. I get a very special award for “Outstanding Commitment to Leadership, Service and Scholarship” and get officially announced as Vice President. “Heart’s” best friend start clapping loudly for me. What does “Heart” and the other girl do? They ignore me and talk to each other the entire time :0


I am his woman! He should be proud and clapping the way his best friend did for me! Where is his loyalty???

Oh hey, he never had it. At least not towards me.

Right after everyone gets their awards, he announces he has to go to work. Everyone says bye and this girl follows him out the door asking about when he’s coming to see her.

Really? Really? Really?

What a great start to being Vice President.


xoxo. S.

One Big Headache

Well then, this was quite a week. On Tuesday, I wake up ready to go back to school from the restful Memorial Day weekend. My fever has gotten better and it was easy to wake up for class. We watched “Groundhog Day” in class and it was hilarious. So far so good.

I come home to take a nap when I get a text from my mother. I am having a nightmare that I bit “Prince Player” (and not in the cute way that I do to ‘Heart’ but actually tried to hurt him kind of bite). I rub my eyes and look at the text.

“Do not use you credit card. It has been cancelled because someone tried to use it Canada.”

WHAT? WHAT??? IDENTITY THEFT???? EEEP!!!! I call my mom and demand an explanation. Once again, she tells me that someone got a hold of my credit card info and tried to use it in Canada. WHO IS USING MY CARD IN CANADA? Note, I have a lot of Canadian readers (shout out to Paul at Captain’s Speech) this is in no way a reference to you guys.

But yes, all my credit cards have been cancelled until my company issues me a new one :( #Headache#1

On Thursday, I see “Heart” at a barbecue. We say hi to each other and he ignores me. #Headache#2 I wonder to myself why “Prince Player” and I haven’t talked in a while. When I get home after a long frustrating day, I see my roommate and her boyfriend on the couch. #Headache#3

alicia florrikYesterday, I had a long day of work ahead. I wake up at 8:00, walk around in my lingerie, only to notice the roommate’s boyfriend in the kitchen. EEP! #Headache#4. When I finally get home from work, I politely tell her to give me a heads up next time he decides to spend the night. She scowls “I’m sorry!” Jesus. Is it too hard of a request? Did she really think she could abuse the roommate agreement that said to ask for permission when guests need to stay (especially sleep) at our place? #Headache#5

What a week! Mercury retrograde is not working in my favor….I have one big headache. Why am I such a mess :(

An Odd Week: In Love and Sickness

“You wanna sip?” Harris asks.

What the hell am I doing talking to “Heart’s” best friend in Starbucks?

It’s Thursday morning and I am battling a cold. I am in desperate need for a hot coffee when I see a familiar face in the line. Shit. It’s him.

He waves to me. I toss my hair and walk over to him.

“Hey” I say smiling. He pulls me in for a hug and smiles, “How are you?”

I cut straight to the chase and put my finger on his chest. “Don’t be telling your best friend that I’m flirting with you!!!”

His face falls, “What? I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

I’m dumbfounded. My face falls too. “Heart said that you said that I was flirting with you!”

He laughs. “He’s an asshole. I never fuckin said that. He’s crazy you know that?”

I wink at him. “Of course I do.”

He laughs even more, “Well I’m crazy too.”

I laugh with him, “We’re all crazy. Hey what is that, it looks good.” He’s holding something green and iced.

Ahhh and then he asks me the question. “You wanna sip?”

Millions of thoughts run through my mind. Is it alright to take a sip of your man’s best friend’s drink? Putting your saliva that you share with him on it?

He see’s my face. “What? It’s not like I have Ebola!”

Oh god. He just doesn’t get it does he?

So I take it. I forget to mention I have a cold. Oh well ;) I take a sip and look at him.

“It’s good!” I say. He smiles and nods. And then I swallow it. And there’s a nasty taste. “Ew! Wait what is this? Green tea?”

He nods and laughs, “What do you mean ew? You said it was good!”

“Yea! It has a strange aftertaste!” I say laughing. We both laugh and then he has to get to class.

As if things could not get any more strange, I get a message from “Heart” barely 30 minutes later. He comes to see me. Unfortunately, he stays for barely 25 minutes because I am very sick and he has to go prepare for an event his organization was having. However, seeing him comforted me and kept me calm all throughout Friday which was my toughest day this week.

“How did it go?” Mr. Photography dude and I are heading to the airport Friday afternoon. I’m going home for my parent’s annual Memorial Day Weekend celebration and he’s heading to Tennessee.

He’s asking about my presentation I just had to give for this organization I am in.

I shrug. It really didn’t help that my voice was partially gone and my nose was running.

“Was he there?” he asks. He’s talking about player. Who indeed was there.

I nod.

fever“Did he say anything to you?” he asks.

Yup. “I need to go to the bathroom” and “Bye”.

He tries to comfort me, “It’s okay, he was probably just busy! Besides, your speech was very personal wasn’t it? He probably didn’t know what to say!”

We get in the taxi and I roll my eyes. “Honestly, I’m just glad I was able to get up there despite my 101 degree fever!” I say.

He laughs and says he was proud of me. He offers me Kleenex to blow my nose.

A few hours later, I arrived home in Colorado. Things are great here, I just wish I wasn’t so sick!

xoxo. S.